2 Goals reached

Current Monday weight: 170. & I officially weigh less than Nate by 9 pounds! 10 pounds to my final goal and 96.6 pounds lost since surgery! 2012 is a year I will never forget.

Just a fluke

These past 2 days I've had this feeling that this is all a fluke. That smaller Bre is just a temporary thing and I'm scared to death that fat Nate and Bre will be back. Nothing has changed in me to think that but there is this stupid voice in my head that has me worried. I wonder how these fears come in. That's what they are fear. This new lifestyle is so unknown to me that maybe that is why these fears exist. I will fight for this life with all I have. Not because of the way I look but because of what happiness it has brought all of us. This life feels so much better than a bag of doritos and queso.

Vegas baby

Just over a week away and Nate & I will be in Vegas. I did some shopping this week for Vegas nightclub outfits. When I went into Target to try on a pair of jeans I grabbed a size 12 in juniors but then I started to second guess myself and I grabbed a 13 and 15 just in case. No need the 12's fit like a glove.

Here are a few outfits. The black dress was a no go. It tried to eat me and was too short. I actually got stuck in the dress and had to have Ethan come help me out of it. lol

Some kind of wonderful

As most of you know on Christmas Day I ran an entire 5K without stopping once. It wasn't even a thought on my goal list because I didn't realize it was possible. My sister ran with me the entire time and she encouraged me the whole way through. I don't think I could have done it without her. She really is some kind of wonderful. When I finally sat down in my car and had a moment to think of what I had just accomplished I started to cry. Here are a couple pictures from the run that day. I wonder if I'll be able to do it without my sister by my side. I wish she lived in town with me. I feel like I could accomplish anything with her by my side.

Perfect

I thought about writing a letter but then I don't think I want the kind of relationship that is required.

6 month check up

This morning was my 6 month check up and I guess I'm overdue for an updated picture!

The doctor said I was doing great and on track. He asked me what my goal weight was and I told him 160. He said I should have no probably getting to that plus more. He also said that the looseness in my belly couldn't be fixed by anything but cosmetic surgery. I told him I was planning on getting a tummy tuck and he said another 10-15 pounds would come off then.  My labs also looked good. The wait for the doctor was 5 times longer than my actual visit with the doctor himself. He said I will have 1 more follow up appointment and that would be in June for my anniversary. Then I would come to see him once a year after that.

The visit was short and sweet. I wish my doctor had a better bedside manner but I'm glad that what he lacks in personality he has in skillful hands. Knock on wood I've had no issues. Oh, the issue from the other day he said was gas. Great! That's not embarrassing or anything.

Not mataba

This morning I went to my local Asian Market for pancit noodle. the smell from the back of the store pulled me back. I had a conversation with the owner & decide on a serving of adobo. She asked me if I wanted rice & I said "no, I'm trying to lose weight & can't eat rice." She replied, "oh, no. Your not mataba your tall." I thanked her & left the store adobo in hand beaming. I'm not mataba. It's so hard to believe that I'm not mataba anymore but overweight.

Hair update: I had my hair done this morning & discussed hair loss with Sherri. She said others can't notice right now but if I lost more on my sides they would. I have to make sure I'm eating 100 grams of protein a day and to stop putting my hair in a ponytail because it stresses out the hair on the sides. No pony tail :( we also decided that in 6 weeks I'm going back to brown. I've been wanting to try it the last 2 months so she said let's just do it. Plus the brown will make my hair look fuller & if I don't like it we can change it back.

Support

I go into things with the mindset that I will be facing them alone. That this challenge whatever it may be will be my challenge to face. I felt the same about this surgery and the journey that was ahead of me. I knew I would be dragging my kids with me. They didn't have a choice.  My husband has support me 95% of the time during my journey. I'm only deducting 5% because of the few months after surgery when he was eating all he could in front of me and arguing with me about sharing his HAWG sandwich. lol Even though I don't expect support from anyone I'm blessed and grateful to know that I've had it every step of the way.  From my wonderful husband, to my in-laws, friends, and I think the most surprising is my own family especially my sisters.  The little messages and encouraging words I get from them help push me through on my difficult days. 

My sister's surprised me today by telling me that they are planning on joining me for the Gate River Run.  When I received Katherine's message I thought she meant just her and her family and when she named my other 3 sister's the tears started flowing. I can't believe they would all travel this far to come run/walk this with me.  To support me. It makes me even more excited for the challenge that is ahead of me to know that I'm going to get to do it with my sisters by my side. Or ahead of me. lol  It also motivated Nate to say he was going to sign up because he couldn't let the Grayson girls show him up.

Of course now I'm super excited. I just love to plan things. And I love the thought of all my sister's here. I hope that everyone's plans work out just right. I can just see us now sitting around Friday night eating a Carb feast and then a post run shindig at my house. I can already see the picture of us with our medals and red faces!

Edit: I just wanted to add that I don't think my original statement is 100% true. I don't go into things expecting to be by myself because the truth of the matter is that every single thing I've done in the past 9 years my husband has stood by my side. If I want to do it and I have a deep desire to do it he supports me. Regardless if at times he doesn't agree with me. He's always by my side. He was just by my side for a brief moment over eating and not sharing his hawg sandwich. ;) I think that he gets extra credit for supporting me at times when my ideas were bat shit crazy which brings his grade back up to 100%.

A heavy heart

This morning an armed man walked into a elementary school in Conn & killed 18 children & several adults. Immediately my heart felt so heavy & I was fighting back years. Those poor babies. Frighten & scared. Who could do that to such innocents? People on FB are posting what an awful world this is or what are we coming to. It can't be this. We can't live in a world where we hurt our children. I picture their little faces. My daughters face. My Ethan's face & the tears start flowing. I won't accept that this is our future. My children deserve a different world than this. Please pray for these families. For those little angels that were taken today. For their scared friends. For the strength to explain such ugly to these kids. For healing. Pray for my kids & your kids. Pray that they never know this hurt or fear.

A quick after picture

I always get asked how my stomach looks or skin looks now so I thought I would share a quick picture of me that I took 2 days ago. Approx 180 pounds. 

As you can tell in the front picture my stomach doesn't look that bad. The upper part of my stomach around my belly looks a little bit wrinkled but not too bad. You can see 2 scars from the surgery. 1 above my belly button and 1 to the left. I have a larger one on my right side but you can't see it in the picture.

Side view: you can see I still have a belly. I really hope that the last 20 pounds comes from my belly. If not when I have a tummy tuck in the next year and a half that will help clean that part up.  Besides my arms being a tad flabby I think my skin is recovering well.

After the first of the year I'm joining a 6am yoga class with John for 6 weeks. I need help with stretching and creating muscle and I want to try something fun. I'll let you know if I love it.

1...2...

Count with me. 1, 2, STOP

What's 6x2, 6+6, 3x4, 10+2?

And what size did this girl fit into last night?

Say it with me....12

This girl fit into several pairs of size 12s last night. I was able to zip them without having to suck all my air in or pass out. I could wear them comfortabley around town if I was ready.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a size 12. I thought i would get to  a 14 and I would be happy at a 14.

Unbelieveable.

The big one

The Gate River Run

If I can do this I can do anything. 9.39 miles. The race that I never in my wildest dreams thought I could do.

Through downtown, over 2 bridges and weaving throughout San Marco. A 15K. 3 times longer than I currently run/walk.

I'm not going to lie I doubt myself. Big time. I doubt my abilities all the time. I like to speak outloud confidently but as always my biggest demon's and obstacles are inside my head.

I want to do this. I need to do this. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. That I'm not the same girl I was. That there's nothing on this earth that I'm not capable of doing. I know it's only 9 miles and to some people it's a walk in the park but to me at this moment it's my Mt. Everest.

This morning Chrissy started walking with me again. It's almost like started from scratch for her so it will be slow. I downloaded a 15K for beginners training sheet which starts on Monday.  I'm going to use this week with Chrissy as a nice warm upand then hit it on Monday.

This is a copy of my training guilde. http://www.gate-riverrun.com/images/15ktraining.pdf

What are your thoughts?  For my readers/friends/family that have pushed through something they thought they couldn't do. How did you do it?  What drove you?

Edit: Once I finish the race I'm totally gifting myself this as a goal reward!

I still have all my organs

This past Monday on the way to work I suddenly became nauseous and had to pull of on the side of the road. I hadn't had my breakfast yet and I had no known reason for me to get sick.  It happened again right after breakfast.  LET'S STOP RIGHT HERE! I know where every one's minds are going and no I'm not pregnant. In September I had an IUD put in affectionately called my ET transmitter because I believe my girl can talk to aliens now. Okay so Monday's episode was strange but not a big deal. This stomach to me is still fairly new so I wasn't concerned with it.  Wednesday night I work up around 2:30am with the most God awful pains in my stomach.  Correction to right of my stomach. I immediately started thinking about my gallbladder and the medicine that doctor prescribed to avoid gall stones. The ones sitting on my dresser. Untouched.  Had I screwed up?  Did I break myself by not taking this medicine?  Again came the nausea. It took about an hour for the pain and sick feeling to go away and I was able to fall back asleep.  Friday night it happened again and this time Nate was awake to witness it. He immediately become concerned. I started googling it and everything was leading me to think that this was an issue with my gallbladder. I didn't say anything to Nate because honestly I didn't want to go to the ER. I didn't want to have another surgery. I didn't want to hear that I messed up. I didn't want to miss work. I didn't want to miss planned photography sessions. I didn't want my kids to have to spend the evening in the ER or bother to get a sitter again. I could deal with the pain. It would go away eventually.  Nate came up to me and gave me 2 options to go or to go.  I called my surgeon's office and he said it could be my gallbladder or it could be nothing but the only way to know is go up to the ER. He told me to make the smart decision.  I laid down in bed, put on love songs, and cried. I knew what the smart choice was. I had to make sure I was okay. This is my responsibility. We lined up a sitter and Nate & I headed to the downtown ER. On a Friday night.

The place was awful. I'm not a very patient person so I don't like to wait. That's a bad combo for an ER. The adult side was much different than the child side we had experience a month back. It had the weirdest people ever. Nate called them tweakers. People who were clogging up my line because they wanted pain meds. Really people!? I eventually got to the back around 8pm and they took blood and gave me an IV for the nausea.  Around 10pm they did an ultrasound. Around 11pm they told me the ultrasound came back normal and the blood work did too. My gallbladder and that other small organ that Madeline had taken out (?) were good!  Next they wanted me to do a CT scan.  12am came and they brought in 2 16 oz bottles and told me that I had to drink them in order to have a CT scan.  My pouch is 3-4 oz in size. This seemed impossible but they didn't care.  It took me an hour to get 1 bottle down. Hello 1 am. And I got about a quarter of the 2nd bottle down and poured the rest down the drain. I could fill it all coming back up so Nate told the nurse I was ready to go and I was going to be sick. No problem she said they will be right over. 45 mins later my overeating headache started and I felt full and uncomfortable. I had enough. I wanted to go home. I pulled the cords and blood pressure cuffs off me and told the nurse to take out the IV. Put a fork in her because this girl was done! They didn't understand what they had done to me. I don't have normal inside. They made it worse and I had that headache for a better part of the day on Saturday.

What I did find out is that my gallbladder is fine. I don't believe it's an obstruction issue because that would happen after eating not hours after. I have my 6 month doctor's appointment next week and I will talk to Dr. H about it then.  I really think it was just painful gas. Last week I had a lot of pepper jack cheese and spicy almonds trying to get in as much protein as possible. Since Friday I haven't had any issues.  I'm hoping that this is my last trip to the ER.

Weight loss status: 180.2
I'm 20.2 away from my goal. My size 14 jeans are getting a bit loose. I can't even begin to fathom that I could be a girl that wears a size 12.

I'm a medal winner!

Well so were the other 200 people running but I don't care I finally have a medal for running a race. To top it off I also beat my last time. I finished at 42.22. I was 6th out of my age group of 7 runners. The 5th place runner finished almost 10 minutes before me.  Grrr. That seems impossible.  (C'mon Sabrina at this point you should know nothing is impossible!)

My goal each race is to beat the race the time before. My next race is this Saturday evening for the Jingle Bell Run.  Nate will not be doing it.  His knee hurt him so bad this past Saturday he walked off the course after the first block. I saw the defeat in his eyes on the way home. I felt so bad for him. I suggested and others have that he take the next month off from running 5Ks and give his knee a break. 

This was a big dinner weekend. We had 2 family events and a no cook Friday.  No cook Friday we did thin crusted veggie pizza.  It's a good alternative to a regular slice of pizza but really not enough protein for me.  Dinner on Saturday we went to Outback. I ordered a kids half rack of ribs and steamed broccoli.  No cheese fries, no blooming onion, and no bread for me. I did eat 2 croutons dipped in ranch. That was my treat.  Sunday night we went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Dena's birthday.  A weight loss patient at a place called Cheesecake? Seems unfair right? lol They have a skinny menu so I ate 3 Asian chicken lettuce tacos. It was very tasty and I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Then came desert. I didn't eat a single bite of cheesecake. I had oreo, cookie dough, snickers, red velvet, and original all around me but I wasn't craving a bite of any of them.  Dena, Eric, and Stella were asking me about my surgery. How I feel now? Do I miss things? Is it hard? They always ask me lots of questions and I don't mind. I try not to talk about it unless people ask. I don't want to brag about my weight loss especially around people who are struggling with it. I don't want anyone to get hostile feelings towards me.  When I walked up at dinner Stella said she was going to punch me in the face. lol

I did finally put it out on my FB business page. I weighed that morning and I was so excited that I had lost 100 pounds since Oct 2011. Now I'm kinda indifferent on sharing. Should I have said something? Will people think I'm bragging? Should I not care and be proud of myself?  Do I actually have something to be proud of or did I take the easy way out?

Thanksgiving weight gain?

Official weigh in....185.8. I lost 0.2 pounds since last week. I'm OK with that!

Thanksgiving Day Wrap Up

I just came home from 5 hours of Black Friday shopping! NOT! But I did complete 40% of my shopping from my warm bed and laptop.  So even though I'm not a get outta bed Black Friday shopping I do enjoy the deals. 

Yesterday was a wonderful day.  Of course every Thanksgiving ends up being wonderful.  It's easy when your a member of a great family. 

Nate, Lorelei, and I started it off with a morning run.  I started off great. I ran for .85 miles without stopping. I couldn't believe it. I was very proud of myself. Shit that's almost a mile without stopping. Nate was in front of me and I could see him keep looking back. Scared I was going to catch up with him.  He's so cute.  After my first long run I couldn't ever get that going again.  I walked most of the 2nd mile.  Not my normal slow walk but that crazy speed walker kinda thing. Then the 3rd mile I ran from landmark to landmark at a much faster pace. From mailbox to mailbox. I finished under my last race at 43.00  So I did meet my goal of beating my last race but I still didn't feel like a super star because I haven't been training as hard. 

 

Nate did awesome too.  He beat his last race and finished before me. He tweaked his knee at the very end and has been in some pain. I hope that it's just a temporary thing because he's been doing so well.  He also did well for dinner. It's one day and as long as he is back on track today one day isn't going to de-rail him. It's all the days in between the holidays people need to worry about.

 

Dinner was just as I thought. I had a few pieces of turkey and then a scoop of everything I wanted. I then had cranberry sauce for dessert.  I had chickpeas during the movie and then when we came back I had 2 more pieces of turkey.  I'll admit as the food was spread in front of me it was very hard to not pick.  I picked on the turkey so I was putting protein in my body and not fat.

 

Today we deck the halls.  I love what my house looks like at Christmas. I love the entire busy month of December. Happy holidays!

Updated Goal List

1. Weigh less than 200 pounds (5 pounds away!)

1a. Weigh 220 (almost there!)
1b. Weigh less than Nate. My husband is making this hard for me since his weight is going down too.
2. Weigh: 170.
Lose 100 pounds (166.6)
Weigh: 160

3. Take Family pictures (Scheduled for the first of November)
4. Take pictures with Nate, maybe boudoir pictures :)
5. Go to an amusement park with Nate and go on all the roller coasters
6. Go iceskating
7. Shop at the Gap, Learners, and Express (bought my first shirt from Banana republic!)
8. Go to a waterpark and ride all the rides with Ethan Nate, Ethan, and I went to a waterpark yesterday and I rode every ride with them and I didn't get stuck!
9. Wear shorts Done and I'm never going back! It's too damn hot to live in FL and not wear shorts!
10. Dance in a club or bar
11. Run a 5K, (ran my first one and signing up for the 2nd)
BEAT Nate in a 5K
10K
River Run
Half Marathon by next fall

12. Try "fun" things with my husband ;) things sure have gotten fun :):):) but the 2 I have in my head hasn't happened yet. ;)
13. Go to a costume party
14. Wear a skirt to work Wore a skirt to work last week :)
15. Hold my head up high when I walk into a room almost there. I have my up and down days
16. Go to the beach (please Lord don't let me get eatin' by a shark) Went to Fort Desoto beach this weekend and did not get eaten by a shark!
17. Wear knee high boots (I can't wait to find a pair of riding boots & cowboy boots!)
18. Play a full basketball game against Ethan and his friends.
19. Buy bikes and go on bike rides with the family We need to buy Lorelei a seat. grr
20. Wear one of Nate's t-shirts to bed
21. Go horseback riding
22. Go to one of those underground clubs with Nate (Ulta in Miami)
23. Buy a new bathing suit
24. Wear a cocktail dress
25. Do an obstacle course or high rope course including a zip line
26. Play on a softball team (I'm currently on a softball team but I'm already talking myself out of it. Stick with it Bre!)
27. Buy a sexy bra from Victoria Secrets
28. Run the bleachers at FC
29. Wear leggings
30. sing Karaoke
31. Tuck my shirt in
32. Buy an outfit from Black & White Market, J Crew

Pre Thanksgiving Update

Where have I been?  Well, I'll just be honest and tell you what I haven't been doing. I haven't been running. Not every morning. I have lots of excuses but the main issue is I've lost my partner. Things aren't going so well for her this past month and she has lost the motivation to run.  The best part about having a partner is she held me accountable. I had to get up to meet her.  Now I've lost that.  I'm going to force myself to get back out there this weekend.  Tomorrow Nate & I are running a 5K.  We aren't driving to the one across town because it's $70 to sign up plus 40 minutes away but are doing it in our neighborhood.  8am start like the other race and we are going to burn some calories before we put that Thanksgiving food in our mouth.  I'm also signing up for a 5K on Dec 1st and Dec 8. The best part is we get a medal for the one on Dec 1st! My very first medal!!!

Eating:  I'm about the same. Trying to get my protein in. Not cheating.  Still eating a healthy diet.

Weigh loss: I'm currently 186.  26 pounds away from my goal weight.  Down 80.6 pounds since June.

Going back to my own running I can't use someone else lack of motivation as my own. I have to do this. I want to run and because I haven't been running every morning it was harder for me to run this weekend. If I want to run a 1/2 Marathon like I claim I need to stick it out.  I can't let things like the weather or time change or my partner keep me from doing this.  No more excuses BRE!  I need motivation people! I need support. Get me back off the couch and out of bed!

Thanksgiving: The biggest eating holiday of the year. Am I worried? No. I'm not really effective by food anymore. A rep brought in some brownies the other day and I passed them around to everyone. I didn't want any.  The kids trick or treating candy hasn't tempted me one bit. Lorelei's potty training chocolates haven't been a problem. I'm not worried about the holiday or gaining weight during this time.  I'll eat mostly turkey and then maybe a spoonful of everything else.

My husband?  A fucking rockstar?  Doesn't miss a day on the elipitical. Lost 19.4 pounds and looking and feeling great! I'm so proud of him.

Last night was a bariatrics meeting.  It's a group of 30 or more patients or soon to be patients. We discuss issues we are having and it's a really good forum. I don't talk much but I listen. Most of the questions I have come up eventually. I met this lady last night that is 3 1/2 years out and she still looks fantastic. I think the important thing is she still comes to the meetings. All the doctors say that the meetings are a key to our success.  The lady next to me was a soon to be patient and she asked me how much more I had to lose because I was a skinny ole thing. Me! A skinny ole thing??? Whens the last time someone said that to me? It made me feel good. 

I think it's time for another before and after?  It's been 2 months and almost 20 pounds.  I need a new black outfit though because even though my pants size has gone down to a 14 I'm still wearing size 22/24 underwear. Boy do they look funny! They go up over my belly buttons. Black Friday might be a good day to buy some underroos and save some money.  Stay tuned!

Salute to Veterans 5K

Yesterday morning was the Salute to Veterans 5K.  When we arrived it felt like there were 30 outstanding runners present and then us. I was starting to get nervous. I haven't been running like we did last month. How embarrassing it would be to come in dead last? I know someone has to be last but I just don't want it to be me.

The first 8 minutes felt great and the last leg felt good.  The middle is where it went bad.  It started with the right side of my stomach area.  A sharp pain. I ran with my hand over it applying pressure. Just push through Sabrina.  Then both sides of my lower back started screaming at me. Still I pushed through. I didn't want to stop. My legs weren't hurting. My lungs weren't whizzing. I wanted to run.  Eventually though my back won.  I had to slow down. I wasn't expecting the bridges to be involved in the race. Gosh those things kill my legs but I used the downward side to help propel me forward and keep my momentum going. During the run I kept looking behind me to make sure I wasn't dead last.

Overall I think I ran slower than normal but I finished. I set a realistic pace for me to beat next time.  My finishing time was 44:15

Here's our group shot.  I love our red, white, and blue.  Hate my hair though. I guess I should put more thought into that next time! lol My husband did ask me if we were ever going to not dress up. I mean really? What a silly question. It's all about the dressing up part!




Ethan finished 4 out of 5 in his age group.  32:01. I'm very proud of him.



Here's my man. He did amazing! Better than me! Finishing time 37:49



And then me and JB.



And then Chrissy.



It was a good race and a fun time. It felt good to gt that sweat going early in the morning. I think there's a few things working against us. 1. Not running during the cold weather. 2. Not running during the day light. I don't think either one of us are use to the hot sun.  I'm signing us up for the Thanksgiving 6K next week and then the Jingle Bell run Dec 8th.  I want to keep running and push myself. I still have my doubts if I'll ever be able to run the GateRiver Run or even a half marathon.  I really don't feel like I'm improving but I don't want to give up either.

Goal update: I weighed less than Nate this morning!!! I'm currently 187.8!

More family pictures

I have frames that I ordered that look like this. I'm going to use our family pictures to fill these frames in our foyer. It's about time we have some family pictures up in our home.

I promised myself I wasn't going to point out any of my flaws but I can't help but point this out. See this picture above?  Which I LOVE! Do you notice that my pants are too big?  Size 14 and they don't fit like a glove! Very exciting!

My damn husband!

So one month ago I wrote a blog about my husband's health and how he would never understand how I felt about it. I also blogged my doubts on his ability to stick with a diet plan.  I'm happy to say that I'm the one with pie on my face.  For the past month he has kept up with his 1800 calorie diet and excercise program.  He is down 14 pounds since Nov 3rd and is sticking to his program. He has been faced with peer pressure and obstacles and is sticking with it. He looks and is feeling great.  I'm very proud of him.

Now to the title of my blog. My damn husband. I have 1 goal keeping me from my next reward and that is weighing less than my husband.  This morning we stepped on the scale and he was 188.8 and I was 188.8! How freaking annoying is that?!?!?

So I'm currently 60% proud and happy with him and 40% annoyed with him. :)  I guess that's the gemini in me.

Family Pictures

Yesterday was our family sessions with Caroline Momberg Photography.  I just adore Caroline. She reminds me so much of my best friend.  The girl cracks me up!

As previously blogged we were heading to the fair for a lifestyle/posed family session.  A lifestyle session basically translate to unposed photographs. Us being a family. Playing games, riding rides, eating cotton candy, and just enjoying one another. I loved the idea and I couldn't wait to see Caroline's magic.

We never go to the fair. We never play fair games. We don't order fair food.  WAIT not true. We always order fair food. Funnel cakes, cotton candy, cone dogs, sausage dogs, turkey legs, how can you say no.  This was a treat for our kids.  To get to play games and ride every ride. We had a good time. Both kids were exhausted afterwards.  Here are a couple pictures Caroline posted last night. She took 934 pictures so it will be awhile before she goes through them all!

I LOVE THEM!!! They are exactly what I had in mind. I think we all look great! The color combination worked out just like I imagined. Nate looks amazing.  (Down 13 pounds) & I'm not finding the pouch in my belly criticizing myself.  I can't wait to see the rest.  These bad boys are going up on the new gallery wall in my foyer asap!

For the record I did not eat the bag of cotton candy in the picture above. I did have 5 french fries and 2 bites of a corn dog.  Nate did well too. We stopped at Wendy's after and got a grilled chicken for him and a chili for me.

I rode the rides with my kids and husband for the first time. I wasn't scared. Not scared as in frightened but scared that I would be too big to ride the rides. On the big scary ride that goes over your chest I usually would have skipped that ride because I would have been scared it wouldn't fit around me.  There we 2 girls who actually had to get off the ride because the bar wouldn't fit down around them. Nate said it must have felt good to know that wasn't me but it didn't. I felt for them. No matter what I will always have the heart and feelings of a fat girl inside me. I give them props for trying. I wouldn't have. Here's a pic of the ride. We were in the purple streak.

Weight loss Record

I can't figure out how to put an excel chart into blogger so this will have to do. This is my weight loss from 06/04/12. Surgery day.  My heaviest weight during this journey was 282.2 (89.4 pounds)


Date         Weight   BMI


6/4/2012   266.6    39.4

6/11/2012  257      37.9

6/18/2012 247.8     36.6

6/25/2012 246.8    36.4

7/2/2012 240.8       35.6

7/9/2012 237.6       35.1

7/16/2012 236.3      34.9

7/23/2012 235.6      34.8

7/30/2012 231        34.1

8/5/2012 225          33.2

8/13/2012 224.6     33.2

8/20/2012 221.2     32.7

8/27/2012 216.8     32.0

9/3/2012 214         31.6

9/10/2012 213       31.5

9/17/2012 210.6     31.1

9/24/2012 208.8    30.8

10/1/2012 203      30.0

10/8/2012 202.4   29.9

10/15/2012 199    29.4

10/22/2012 195.6 28.9

10/29/2012 192.8   28.5

Halloween

Current candy count: 0

Not a single bite or nibble.

I haven't been running at all this week. I feel like a slacker but I have enjoyed my hour of sleep in the morning.

Last night was the first night Ethan didn't go trick or treating with us. He went with his friends & then was part of the haunted house down the street. When he came home I let him stay up & watch Scream 2 with Nate & I. My little boy is growing up too fast.

Tonight are our family pictures at the fair. I hope I see the girl I see in the mirror when I get the images. I hope I can celebrate my current weight as a success.

Brrr

It was below 40 this morning & freezing! I didn't run because it was too cold. I don't have clothes to run in that kind of weather. This cold front took me by surprise. What do you do during cold weather & exercise?

I had to pull out my winter jacket that was too small last year & now too big this year. I can wrap it around my waist. You would think I would love shopping but I hate spending money. I'm sure y'all are over hearing that but buying a new wardrobe sucks. It's not just a few items. It's new underwear, bras, socks, pants, jeans, t-shirts, pjs, jackets, my fancy dresses for cruises, my go to cocktail wedding attire. It's freaking expensive!!!! I call this formally fat girl problems & it's a good problem to have but still a problem.

Good morning Monday

Holy moly was it cold this morning. So cold that I wished today was a running day instead of a walking day.   I guess it's time to invest in some winter running gear.

I'm going to use this post as a quick update.

Business trip rating: Not so bad

Some people were louder than others. Some asked questions. Some didn't recognize me. Some asked other people about what I had been doing instead of asking me.  Food wise because we eat at fancier restaurants it was easy to eat healthy.  I had fish most nights.  I did get a lot of "You aren't hungry?  What's the matter you didn't like it?" I would just tell them that I ate a late lunch or ate to much xyz.  It seems to work.

Here's a pick of me I took for my hubby for the Great American dinner Wednesday night.

When I got back from our business trip Nate & I had  a date to see the Zac Brown Band in concert.  I had a slice of thin crust veg pizza before we left the house and then 2 mixed fruit drinks during the concert.  We had a great time and I loved being out with my husband. I had really missed him and we glad to be in his arms again.  He said that my hands felt little now. Like he could break my hands. I guess I had man hands before! lol  Here's a picture of us before the concert started.

The next morning Chrissy and I go up and ran the bridges downtown.  This time we ran over the Acosta and then back down to the landing. We did a lot of running but it felt easier maybe because of the cool weather.  The run up the main street was brutal and I'm not sure if I will try that part again for awhile. It toasted my legs for a bit.  Probably not a good idea before a 5K since your suppose to take it easy before race day.

Late that day Chrissy and I went shopping for our family pictures this week.  I fit into a size 14 dress which is great. I bought a new bra for only $25 compared to $50.  I finally found the right shirt at Dillards. Thankfully it was on sale and once I put it on I loved it. I'm going to wear it with dark jeans rolled up and my flat black sandals. I also got some cute jewelry to wear with it.  This is the shirt. I love the color.  Family pictures on Thursday!

After that we had a Halloween party with the neighborhood crew.  Nate & I were dressing up as Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler. As I was getting dress I started to regret our costume choices because i knew all the other ladies would look pretty but I'm glad I dressed the way I did. Going for a pretty costume or sexy costume would be too easy. It was outside of my comfort zone to make myself look dorky.  It was fun and we had a good time. I guess neither one of us were up for partying though because after a couple hours we collected the children and all crawled into bed.

Finally Sunday.  Are you exhausted yet?  Sunday was the morning of the Pumpkin Run 5K.  Bat girl suited up. My family looked great. We were good to go.  However my running partner was not answering her cellphone.  We she finally woke up she was um not hungover but still intoxicated from the SE street bash the night before.  I knew getting her to run might be hard. I was glad that she was determined to just come out there.  We ran the first 9 minutes straight and I felt like I could keep going forever. My legs just kept going and going.  The 2nd portion was harder than the first. Chrissy wanted to try running hard for a minute and then walk for a minute and I hated it. The first few minutes always suck. I think I do better on distance running.  We finished the race at 44 minutes.  Not the best but it gives us a starting point. We immediately picked the next 5K on Nov 11 for the Vet Day Run.  I'm having my doubts about my ability to run the Gate River Run and just want to keep pushing myself. My goal is to increase our time each race and just improve little by little. I remind myself that this running thing is new to me. I've only been running for almost 3 months and have lots of room to improve and grow.
This was the superhero team for the Pumpkin Run 5K.

So, what's next?  Work and prepping for the holidays. I have a session every weekend until the middle of December. I need to start planning for Christmas gifts and dinners. The next 2 months are going to fly by.

Homesick

I miss my family. I miss my husband. I wanna hug my son. I want to pick up my baby girl. It just hit me & I want to go home. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

First

This morning was the first time I ever ran on a treadmill.  Even though I owned one for years I never ran on it and it made a great towel rack.

This morning was the first time I had the courage to run in front of workout guys.  Thankfully I arrived to the gym before everyone else but with 20 minutes left in comes 3 guys to work on their muscles.  I didn't slink off like a shy girl. I kept jamming to my Miley Cryus song and did me.

This morning was the first time I saw myself run.  I imagined in my head I looked something like Pumba from the Lion King running.  This morning I had to face myself in a mirror and I didn't look like Pumba at all.  I actually looked like a runner.  Like the people I passed on the street yesterday and thought man they make it look so easy.

Today was also the first time I've worked out by myself.  JB ditched me already and I didn't get up with my alarm at 5am but by 5:30am I was dressed and out the door. I knew I just had to get onto the machine and I would stick it out.

A morning of first.

Business trip update.

This morning JB agreed to run with me. We drove down a couple blocks & ran along the beach. The first 1.5 we ran into the wind which was difficult but not impossible. The beach & shore was the perfect south FL picture. We finished just as the sun was rising.

We then went to breakfast after enjoying the sunrise & I had my normal scrambled egg breakfast. Oh, I drank my shake today before running. Big mistake. On my 3rd 8 minute running I could feel it in my stomach. I'll stick to drinking it after from now on. Today is our chill day. We saw about 7 clients yesterday & the crazy week starts at 6pm to tonight so we like to take Tuesday easy.

First food: We laid by the beach from 11-1pm & I brought water & almonds with me in case I needed a snack. We then met a few company reps for lunch & I ordered a chicken quesadilla from the appetizer menu. I hate 1 3/4 of the 4 squares but thankfully the men said nothing. During the reception I didn't eat or drink alcohol. Dinner was another company rep & this time I ordered Salmon. It was huge! So I hade maybe half. Probably not. A couple bites of spinach & 2 calamari. I also had half a glass of wine someone did ask why I didn't eat so much & also the guy next to me asked if I liked it & when I told him yes he gave me a funny look. I'm glad I didn't pay for the $40 plate bc I left about $25 of it behind. Lol. No dessert for me. I do love their desserts. Normally I would have been all over the creme brûlée. Overall I think I did good.

Question wise I got a few. The room was so loud it was hard to speak. Tomorrows seminar will be much more quieter & I'm expecting more questions. I did get a bunch of holy cow you look greats. I just said thank you. Some men & women kept saying it over & over making a big deal about it but I just laughed & said thank you. For the questions I just deflected. I didn't want to talk about it. & these people gossip. A few asked of I had been working out so I told them about my running & some asked if I watched what I ate & I told them yes. I wonder if people wonder. It has been a year. Maybe not. One lady that knew told me I seemed nervous & I guess I was in way. I didn't know what to expect. Funny thing is this lady is my FB friend calls me at work & tells me how great I look but didn't recognize me by the pool. Lol

Vitamins: got them! Thanks babe!

I'm working out on the treadmill tomorrow bc I don't want to run alone outside in the dark. I went & located the gym so I know exactly where I'm going tomorrow morning. I know the FB pics made it look like an easy day but these business trips are exhausting. It's 10:45pm & I've had 15 mins to myself for the first time since 6:30am. I'm tired of smiling! Good night.

Business Trips & RNY

This is my first business trip since my surgery. I have about 30% of the control of what we eat & when. This is going to be a challenge for me. I started off bad by forgetting my vitamins. Nate is going to FedEx them to my hotel. Our out of town routine starts with Starbucks & chick fil-a. Today while JB was at Starbucks I ran across the street for 2 scrambled eggs. we just stopped at 7-11 & for the first time ever I didn't get a Slurpee or Taqeto. Water, almonds, & beef jerky for me. Some snacks to get me through the in between.

I did get up & run this morning. I plan to run everyday this week. I will keep you all updated. It's going to be a long week of food challenges & questions.

So immature

I drove past Lane Bryant today & I flicked it off! With both hands! I'm on the way to buy new underroos & I can finally buy the cheaper ones in the bag & not pay $5.25 a pair from LB! Remember the ones Santa use to bring us? For the record my husband is trying to get me to upgrade my cheap bag pair but just like them I'm too cheap.

Speaking of underroos I went to Vas yesterday and got measured. I was a 42 D & now I'm a 38 C. Did I buy a $50 bra??? Hell no! But now I know what size I am to find a cheaper version some place else!

This girls gone country

My Zac Brown Band outfit

Skinny jeans (omg) size 14
Shirt large
And I bought killer riding boots!

Shopping. Barf!!!

I'm sorry in advance for you not so into this people but I put way to much thought into this kind of stuff and then second and third guess myself through the process.

I need to go shopping!  For real this time.  I have 2 big events coming up.  First is the Zac Brown Band concert next Friday.  I really want to wear a pair of tall knee boots.  It's my reward for getting below 200 and will also take wearing knee high boots off my goal list.  I could wear something like this.

 

I have the brick color dress I got from Target while we were in St. Augustine. I could buy a pair of black cowboy boots and borrow someones jean jacket.    Like this outfit:

I can't decide between cowboy boots which I won't get as much wear out of or I really want a pair of riding boots. I can wear those with leggings (also on my goal list) or skinny jeans.  (Can't believe I can look good in skinny jeans.)

Something like this:  

I just love that.  Or something like this one these girls without so many layers. It's just not cool enough yet in Jax. 

I have 2 days to find the perfect outfit for the concert because I will be out of town the rest of next week and returning a few hours before the concert..  I despise shopping in store. I hate trying stuff on and I've been dreading this part of it. 

The 2nd even is our annual family pictures!  It's been a year since this picture was taken by the wonderful J. Halstead Photography

Look at my face and my husband.  I didn't see it before. I didnt' look at this picture and thing gosh we look fat.  If I had to guess my weight it was somewhere between 270-280.  In a 22 jean and a 22/24 sweater.

This year we are doing something a little different. My BL BFF owner of Caroline Momberg Photography thought of the idea of having a family session at the Jacksonville Fair.  I'm all about going outside of my homemade box so I jumped on the offer.  It's a change of outfits and scenery and nothing we had every done before. She's amazing with children and will be able to get wonderful smiles from my sassy girl.

Check out this family's session done at a local carnival below.  This is the general idea. Don't you just love it?



http://www.shannonkaedingphotography.com/blog/2012/08/30/washington-county-fair-family-session-family-photographer-st-george-ut/#



My color pallet inspiration for this family session was this photograph right here. I love the use of soft subtle colors and how fun and fresh it feels.  (I don't remember the source of this photography but I did not take it.)

So off to Old Navy and the Gap I went searching for the 2 littles first. (.com of course because I don't go to stores on the weekdays)  I found this shirt in the top left for Ethan.  It has the perfect mix of colors to help be the "pull from" source of our outfits. (Like Lorelei's tights were for us last year.) 

Okay, so back to Ethan. That great shirt, with a lighter seafoam blue/green t-shirt under it.  The button shirt will be either partial unbutton or not buttoned at all. He will wear khaki shorts and his boat shoes.    Miss. Lorelei will be wear the pink skirt shown below over the aqua tights. I'm on the hunt for a white shirt with some hints of silver in it so she can match it with her silver Mary Jane's.  She will probably wear one of her chunky beaded necklaces just to add another layer. I LOVE the jacket the little girl is wearing above but she would probably hate it and fight me on it.  My stud muffin will be wearing his yellow Banana Republic button up shirt with lighter jeans and his flip flops.  No cardigan sweater for my man.

Sounds good so far, right?  Now what about me???  I can really wear any color combination pulled from Ethan's shirt which is great. I'm not limited to finding one color.  Unlike the mom above I won't be in high heels. I'm a tad bit (2 inches he says 1) taller than my husband and I like to wear flats most of the time. Also with my kids being shorter it would just make me not proportion well for the photographs. 

I think I might wear a dress. :-\  With a cardigan sweater.  For example. I could wear this dress from Dillards.  Find a coordinating color. Maybe a blue to go with it.

I also like this dress. I don't care for the price.  $150? I don't think so Ms. Simpson! But I do like the color and how the ruffles go with Lorelei's skirt.

Or I could wear pants.  Like these colored jeans from Old Navy with a tank and a coral color cardigan.

I have 2 weeks to figure it out. I have no choice but to put myself out there in stores, grab stuff off the rack, and try stuff on.  I need to take the time to do it without anybody rushing me.  Do most women hate shopping for clothes?  I didn't use to and I love when my sister comes in town and we shop for her.  I think it's the size thing and that feeling that nothing fit rights and nothing looks good.  When we are shopping for her I don't have to worry about that part of it.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me. Say happy shopping prayers.  Pray for good hefty sales.  Did you make it through this blog post Char? Or did I lose you?