Christmas Advent Calendar

Yes I'm already planning Christmas! Yes I know it's crazy! I love and thrive in a world of order and list. If someone said that to me 20 years ago I would have laughed in their face. lol

So I'm starting to think of activities for the advent calendar. The difficulties I face is I have to find activities for a 2 year old and a 11 year old.  Wish me luck.

Now, with Ethan this year I want to change the focus to giving.  He is truly a very blessed boy and has never wanted for anything. In the past six months I've notice a me, me, me agenda with him. I want to change his focus for the holidays.  Some thoughts on added events.

• Shop for a new toy to donate to a charitable organization
• Host a Simple Christmas dinner and ask each guest to bring a toy for tots
• Make gifts for neighbors (great examples on pinterest) (peppermint park? or a mason chair goodies)
• Write a note to one of our family members of what we love so much about them (randomly pick names out of a hat)

Change up our activities a bit. Keep the old time favorites but spice it up a bit!

• Make hand print ornament
• Eat desert first then dinner!
• Have an indoor picnic while watching a Christmas movie
• dress in your PJ's and go for a drive to look at lights
• sleep under the Christmas tree
• Decorate Edible Christmas tree instead of ginger breads (see pinterest)
• Go see a Christmas play at a  church
• Wax leaf project
• decorate Styrofoam bells
• take family twinkle light pictures & dogs
• read the polar express and watch the movie

Anybody has an suggestions?

I'm taking pictures when?

Remember I mentioned that I had scheduled a couple session between me and my love with the fabulous Jamie Halstead? It's approx 4 weeks away and I'm starting to panic.  What if this is like every other photo session we've had in the past few years and I look fat? What if I can't find anything to wear?  What if I look fat in all the clothes.  What if they..if I don't look like what I think in my head. I've thought about backing out and cancelling the session but I want to do this. I love my husband. I want pictures with him reflecting our love with one another. The way that we make each other laugh and smile. The way he lights me up inside. If anyone could capture that moment I know it's Jamie.  She's an amazing artist and captures life. just as it is.  I want that and I'm not going to let my fears and doubts talk me out of it.

How much will I change?

A good friend of mine told me that when she had her surgery that not only did her physical appearance change but her attitude changed.  I'm starting to wonder how much of me will actually change. I can see the physical changes but the internal changes. I've spent the lady 8 years digging myself deeper into a hole. Wearing basic clothes, not getting my nails done, doing everything I can to blend in.  If someone was looking at me it was because I was fat.  They were judging me.  She said she built up this wall and she was defensive and mean but now that she is healthy and she like the person she has become. 

I've worked very hard to be a better person over the past 10 years.  I've learned and accepted that I can't fight every battle. I can't change the way people act or the way people feel.  When my confidence is sky rocketing months from now I don't want that old Sabrina to come back thinking that she is entitled to change people.  Judgement. In general I don't judge people.  Yes, I have opinions on EVERYONE. However their choices are their choices.  I'm okay with being surrounded by people that are different than me or think differently than me. As long as their is mutual respect. When I lose this extra 50 pounds I wonder if I will start judging people that are over weight. The way I feel like skinny girls do to me now. I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to look at an overweight person I feel like I'm above them.  I was them. If it wasn't for this amazing gift I would still be that girl.  I hope that humbling feeling stays inside me.

I guess what I really don't want to become is a bitch. I'm not better than anyone. I'm not above anyone.  I hope that when I'm at my final goal weight the inside is just a beautiful as the outside.

A couple recent pictures. I'm going to post a before and after side by side next week. Promise! I'm kinda obsessed with taking pictures of myself now with my cellphone. I can't say it enough, "It feels great to feel great!!!"

Great weekend and major goal hit

Thursday & Friday at 5am Nate and I woke up and went for a 30 minute walk.  It's nice to have the exercise thought out of the way before I even hop into the shower.  This weekend showed big weight loss results. I jumped from 221.2 last Monday to as low as 214.6! I went out and bought myself a new pair of shade to celebrate hitting my first weight loss goal..Under 220 for the first time in FOREVER. If I had to guess it would have been around the birth of my son.  Almost 11 years ago. It feels amazing.

We spent the day shopping at Banana Republic where I bought 3 more shirts to add to my too big clothing collection and a few random errands. I can't say enough how great I felt.  Even when a sales clerk asked me if I was expecting it only deflated me a little. All I could think was lady I look 4 months prego now 2 months ago I was pushing 10 months prego.  We went to dinner with the Nelson family and I always feel a little bit self conscious when I go out with people because I feel like I'm being watched. What is she eating? She ate that much? That's all she's going to eat?  Mark and Tina were great and didn't mention it at all. I shared a 1/4 chicken breast dinner with Lorelei.  BJ Brewhouse is a great place for bariatrics patient. They have Big Kid Meals that are enough for me and the little to share and healthy choices. We had Grilled chicken breast with steamed veggies and fries.  She of course ate all the fries!

Sunday morning Nate woke up to the mow the lawn. Something happened and I put on my ear buds walked outside and took the lawnmower from him. He thought I was kidding, he stood by as I walked away with it and started mowing. I finished the whole yard including the hill on my own! My reason for helping was A.) my husband shouldn't have to do it alone and B.) what a great arm and leg workout

I had an amazing weekend and hit a major weight loss goal for me. I'm only 10 pounds away from reaching number 2...weigh less than Nate and 15-17 pounds away from being under 200. The last time I was under 200 I was 20 years old.

For the record my official Monday weigh in was 216.8 a total of 49.8 pounds gone forever!

Large & in charge

Size shirt- large banana republic shirt! Go me!

Goal Check

1. Weigh less than 200 pounds
1a. Weigh 220 (almost there!)
1b. Weigh less than Nate.
2. Weight: 170. This is my goal. This will change once I speak to my doctor.
3. Take Family pictures
4. Take pictures with Nate, maybe boudoir pictures :) (couple pictures with Nate schedule for Sept.!)
5. Go to an amusement park with Nate and go on all the roller coasters
6. Go iceskating
7. Shop at the Gap, Learners, and Express (bought my first shirt from Banana republic!)
8. Go to a waterpark and ride all the rides with Ethan Nate, Ethan, and I went to a waterpark yesterday and I rode every ride with them and I didn't get stuck!
9. Wear shorts
10. Dance in a club or bar
11. Run a 5K, 10K, and Half Marathon SIGNED UP FOR A 5K IN September
12. Try "fun" things with my husband ;)
13. Go to a costume party
14. Wear a skirt to work Wore a skirt to work last week :)
15. Hold my head up high when I walk into a room
16. Go to the beach (please Lord don't let me get eatin' by a shark) Went to Fort Desoto beach this weekend and did not get eaten by a shark!
17. Wear knee high boots
18. Play a full basketball game against Ethan and his friends.
19. Buy bikes and go on bike rides with the family bikes have been purchased just need a cart for Lulu
20. Wear one of Nate's t-shirts to bed
21. Go horseback riding
22. Go to one of those underground clubs with Nate

In the woods

This weekend we decided to spend 3 nights camping in St. Petersburg at Fort Desoto.  The campgrounds were gorgeous. I wanted to share some of my camping tips so I don't forget and to help others.

1. Food!  Do as much prep at home as possible. Our menu looked something like this.
    Friday- (Dinner) -hotdog over the fire, store bought potato salad, and potato chips.
    Saturday- (Breakfast) Hashbrowns, bacon, & scrambled eggs (Lunch) turkey and cheese sandwiches
    and chips (Dinner) skirt steak appetizer, sausage with veg tin foil wraps
    Sunday-  (Breakfast) Hashbrowns, bacon, & scrambled eggs (Lunch) peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

    and chips (Dinner) skirt steak appetizer, taco & doritos in a bag.
    Monday- (Breakfast) cereal bars once the car was packed and we were on the road.

I prepared 2 coolers. Our refrigerator cooler and our freezer cooler. Everyone received a death threat to not open the freezer cooler.  The items we needed to stay super duper cooled stayed in there and it worked like a champ! Drinks and Friday and Saturday morning meals stayed in the refrigerator and as the day progressed and moved items to the fridge to let it defrost.  The key is to do as much prep at home and give everything a hard freeze. I cut up all the potatoes, vegetables, and browned the taco mix at home and then froze them days before camping.  Not only did it help us with storing the food but it saved so much time and energy while trying to cook in 90+ degree weather.  My husband was very happy.

My other concern was what was I going to eat. I don't want to make a big to do about my surgery so I planned meals that were surgery friendly and I didn't tell anyone until Sunday night :)  I ate a hot dog Friday night and almonds around the fire.  Saturday morning I had a 1/4 of a strip of bacon maybe a third :) and scrambled eggs.  Lunch I had turkey and cheese no bread.  A piece of skirt steak and turkey sausage with bell pepper and asparagus.  Sunday morning 1/2 bacon and scrambled eggs, almonds for lunch on Sunday, and the tacos I made we ate in a bowl smashed with Doritos chips. I made it with ground turkey and black beans cooked with taco seasoning.  The meat mixture plus some low fat cheese and salsa was perfect for me. I even threw 1 Doritos in! I brought plenty of snacks for the kids and whenever the snacked I popped a couple of almonds or drank water.  Overall the food issue was not an issue at all!

2.  What to bring.  Believe it or not we didn't forget a single thing!  Thanks to a couple what to bring list on the Internet my husband was able to pack every single thing we needed.  I'm a list kinda girl and when it comes to camping you can't just run up to the store if you forget something.  Be organized people!

3. Electricity!  Yes, our camp site had electricity and we used it the first night for a light in the middle of the camp ground and we also used it for fans in each tent.  Again with camping in South FL during August I'm not ashamed to say I used a fan bitches! It was still hot at night but the fan made it bearable to sleep with a sheet.

4.  Camping with Toddlers?  It's a pain in the butt. I'm not going to lie she drove us all crazy but we got through it and had a great vacation.

My favorite part was the beach. The beaches there were beautiful and it reminded me of Mexico. During the day we would spend it on the beach and at night we would stand guard against the crazy raccoons.

Overall a great vacation! I'm looking forward to talking my family into another trip out there this spring break!

Almost to goal

225! My first goal is 220 & I'm almost there!