Update

I started taking Clomid on day 3 of my cycle. Clomid is suppose to help make me ovulate. For some reason since December I haven't been ovulating. I think it is just the stress of everything going on. The doctor said the antibiotic should have helped Nate's infertile results but he is going to be retested to make sure. I am praying that it did work and we will be moving in the right direction very soon.

This baby thing and the inability to produce one has really taken a toll on me. I get mad and sad and angry. When we decided to try almost a year ago I thought I would be pregnant by now. I thought we would be planning our last family cruise before our new addition. I never thought we would have these issues. I know there are other options. But I didn't want to have just any baby...I wanted to have Nate's baby..our baby and I never thought it might not be an option.

It seems like everyone else is getting pregnant all around me. I am green with envy. When I see people babies or pregnant women with their husbands hands guiding them around...beaming with pride..I want to scream, "It's not fair!"

All I can try to do is stay calm. That stressing out about it and getting upset isn't good for the cause and it isn't good for my marriage either. God will watch over Nate, Ethan, & I. Our time will come.

Try this again

Okay, I know I said I was working on my fitness before. Well, I paid for a gym membership for 1 year and blew over $400 for 5 visits. And I weigh more now than I did then. It is getting bad. I am putting pound by pound on and if I don't do something about it, I will be fatnasty. So, I decided to join the gym this time with John. I know another $400 bucks but this time it is with John. And if you are reading this then you know why that is such a big difference. We are going during our lunch hour and then I am going to eat lunch here at the office. So, I will save $10-$15 a day on eating out plus be forced to workout everyday. He will make me go. I will make him go. So this is day 1. Fresh start.


Current Weight: 258
Goal Weight: 170

Should this be adjusted? 170 is the high number on the height & weight info I found online. And it was my prebaby weight. Back when I could actually wear a bikini. 170 will be my starting off goal.

Height Small Frame Medium Frame Large Frame
5'9" 129-142 139-153 149-170

Edit: According to Yaritza and the website I am a large frame.. so my idea weight would be 149-170. This is a picture 160.

Love these pics below