Fear

No doubt that this a-hole has haunted me for years. I still have nightmares that include Jason chasing me around the house and for some reason he never gets me but he almost does everytime. When I wake up I lay perfectly still and listen in the dark bc I just know he is in my house somewhere. (See why I don't watch scary movies)

My biggest fear right now is 1pm-9pm. My husband's new possible hours. For a job opportunity he has decided to close down Innobyte in the middle of April. He was offered a Cisco position that would be the first step to his dream career but the hours are 1pm-9pm. When he told me the other week I started to cry. I love my husband. I want to be with him and have him home with us. And I felt bad for crying in front of him because I don't want him to feel guilty about this. I know he needs to do this and I can't hold him back. Now that emotion is sadness not fear. The fear comes in from this. The ending of my first marriage was during a night shift. He was working 2 to 11pm and I worked 8-5pm. Monday through Friday we didn't spend anytime together. Ethan was in daycare and by the time he came home we were both asleep. And he met another lady that worked with him and they spent 5 days a week together and the rest is history. I am scared it is going to happen again. I know that my husband isn't my ex. He is a better man than X could ever be but I am still scared. Just like I know Jason isn't real, I still have the dreams.