I'm over this. I'm over of negative bank accounts and wondering when we will run out of money before pay checks. I'm tired of debt. Of credit cards with no available balance. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems so out of control and I have no idea how this happened.
Nothing is different in our lives. No added expenses. The only thing I can pinpoint it on is taking my sister and her kids in. That helped drive up my credit card debt. School shopping, grocery shopping, dinners for 8, activities for 8, gas for 3. Very slowly the balance went up. In some ways I wish I never let them move in because now I'm the one left with the bill and no thanks on top of that. No relationship on top of that. A big $300 a month bill and a fuck you to go with it. Thanks.
Then buying the house because our only card now had a large balance we had to open other cards to do things that were priorities to the house and yard. My fucking neighbors and that fence. The backyard improvements happened way before we wanted them too.
Now I have no idea what I've paid and what I haven't. I'm scared because of the large amount on my card they are going to cancel it. I just have no idea how to fix any of this anymore. How can I be so broke when we make more money than we have in the past? I even stopped keeping a checkbook balance because I just don't want to know.
I feel like I need to cut things off but I really have no idea what. We have tried to keep things to a minimum and it still isn't helping. I just feel like I'm drowning and I haven't felt like this since my separation from Matt.....I'm put no this smile and I'm trying to act like everything is okay but it's not. I'm just tired of dog paddling with no sign of shore ahead.
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