Thursday, February 7, 2013

You're my inspiration

No, I'm not referencing one of my favorite Chicago songs. Even though every time someone says it to me I start singing this power ballad in my head. I'm referring to text, emails, and post on Face book I receive from friends telling me that I'm such an inspiration to them. That my weight loss journey has inspired them. That my workout schedule has inspired them. It's all very nice but it makes me uncomfortable and the biggest reason is because I feel like a fraud. I feel like I've cheated and none of them know that. That I don't deserve to be there inspiration. That if they knew I had surgery none of them would be saying that. Am I a fraud?  Will someone get mad at me one day and then blast my secret to the world on face book. Will everyone think I was a liar?

Then again should I feel like that. I am doing more than anyone in my RNY support group. Nobody else is running this race coming up. Nobody is working out. Even they have told me that I've inspired them. So should it matter. Yes, no matter what I would have lost weight but this surgery was made to help lose 60-80% of your excess body fat and thanks to exercising I'm less than 2 pounds away from losing 100% of my excess weight. I did that. I didn't have to. I made goals and I stuck with them. I've pushed through the voices in my head and I'm battling the some negativity as everyone else. Why can't I just be as proud of myself as everyone else is?

1 comment:

Kat Weeks said...

I think what is inspiring to people is the way you are making this a lifestyle change, not just the fact you lost weight.

Remember, the surgery helped you lose weight. YOU are helping yourself get into shape. Your surgery isn't what is enabling you to run a 5 or 15k. Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean they can run a race. YOU are the one creating a stronger body. You can give the credit of getting into smaller pants to the doctors but make sure you give the credit of any miles you run to YOU.