If I typed the events of the last month it would make it real. So I choose not to and continue to look at pretty pictures of nurseries and just pretend. So my period never came in Jan. I was on pins and needle and sick to my stomach. Everytime I went into the bathroom I held my breathe. And it never happened. I had to be pregnant...right? 3 EPT test said NO and then a blood test from my doctor confirmed I was not pregnant but where was Aunt Flo? He gave me a prescription of Provera and you take it for 10 days and the ragging bitch will show herself. Then 12 days after the start of my . I need to take an ovulation test to see if I am ovulating and then check my blood work for my progrestrone level next Friday. In the meantime Nate had to go to the spank bank. We had a lot of fun with that and so did he. We got the results last Tuesday. He has 99% misshapened sperm. Which is a cause of infertility. He has to go back in 6 weeks and be tested again. If the sperm are not shaped correctly then they can't get to the egg and can't get break into it. Hopefully the next test will go fine and this won't be an issue.
Those are the facts. Now my feelings on it..I am heartbroken of course. How do you plan for a future if there won't be one. I know I should be hopeful but how do you talk about your future children if you can't make them. At first I was alittle mad at Nate. Yes I know it isn't his fault but I was. I am just going to hope and pray that everything goes alright. If not. I have the most wonderful son that I could ever ask for. Maybe it is selfish to want another.
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