Monday, June 24, 2013

First Grayson Family Camping Trip

It was amazing! The moment I got home I missed it. I missed my sisters. I missed their kids. I wanted to go back to the woods. With a working air mattress.

I was so nervous heading up there and the week before I kept thinking how much I wished it was over with already. I told Nate that I needed him to be the positive one. I needed him to talk me out of being upset and to be the ying to my yang. Ends up I didn't need that.

From the moment we got there everything went off great. Debra & Katherine got along great. I loved seeing them laugh together. Katherine is so funny and she really cracks Debra up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) You could tell how much Debra missed her family. She was emotional all weekend. Especially around Dad. I feel bad for not going to visit her more often and plan on making a better effort from now on. It's only 3 hours away.

Watching my sister's with their families was very nice. I've been the mom the longest and playing this roll as a grown up the longest. It was nice to have them all in the same boat as me now. Debra is amazing with her 3 kids and does a great job with them. They are very well behaved and I just adore them. Katherine and David are great parents too. You can tell what a great team they are together with their daughter, cooking, and more. David too find's Katherine very funny and she cracks him up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) And their little girl is so edible! I could eat her up with a spoon!

Christina is Christina. My mini Charlyn. Such a wise and responsible girl. I can't wait to see where her road leads here. Her possibilities are endless.

I have a new found liking for my step mother Lynn. She's been married to my Dad for 5 years now and this is the most time I've ever spent with her. She came walking up in a long moo-moo and red hot flat wheels with feathers on it, manicured toes and nails, and red lipstick. I loved it! It was who she was. She didn't go anywhere without the lipstick. Even at the beach I noticed the tube in her hand. lol My kind of lady. And she was a lady. Just like my step mom Carol. She was well put together and up for almost anything. She's funny and sarcastic. I realized that everything bad I thought about her I was told from other people. I based my opinion on her on other people's bad updates. And I should know better than that. Nobody ever reports the good only the bad. I'm not saying we left as BFF but I do have a new founded respect for her and I liked her. She put a lot of time into planning the trip with my father's best interest at heart. She bought stuff for the Grand kids to keep them busy, planned a menu to meet every body's needs and really just impressed me.

Her daughter Liz...blah. She wasn't friendly at all. Which caused Caroline to not participate a lot. We hardly saw either one of them. Seeing the 2 of them together reminded me of the time when they verbally attacked and bashed me on FB. 7 months pregnant and taunted me about going into labor. Maybe one day when they are mothers they will realize how much my husband wants to punch them all in the face. I forgive easily. He doesn't. It was a bit ironic that for the 3 or 4th time my father forgot to call Ethan on his birthday right before the trip. He called the next day and said he didn't forget that he didn't get home until 9pm and I would have loved to point out the fact that when I didn't call to wish him a Happy's Father's Day by 5pm I was viciously attacked from all his hounds. But I didn't. I'm sure he thought about it. At least I hope he did.

Forgiveness. I spoke to my sister about forgiveness that weekend. Who we forgive and who we don't. I forgive Katherine. I forgive Caroline. I forgive Debra. I forgive Rodney. I forgive my mother. It's harder for me to forgive my father. I'm not sure if he realizes what he did. Not just the physical abuse but the verbal abuse. I have a hard time being lovey dovey to him. Or to bow down to him. The last time I did that was the summer of 1998 and I refuse to go back. I think that kept me distant as some points of the camping trip. Just my own internal struggle with my father. I think I kept it undercover though. I hope. I do admire him. I admire his strength and perseverance. He was served a shitty hand and could have gone down a different path. I'm proud of what he was able to accomplish as a young orphan. So it's a struggle for me.

Overall the camping trip was great. I seriously sat at my desk Wed, Thursday, and Friday and wished we were back there. I can't wait for the next one.  When is the next one???

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