Thursday, May 2, 2013

Half glass full

There are moments in life that you are require to have a positive outlook but you still fail.  And when you fail your imagine and worst nightmares run away from you.  There's something wrong with Ethan. Exactly what we don't know and I'm not even sure I can explain it to anyone without actual verbal words. I'm going to give it a try.

2 weeks ago on April 17, Ethan called from school and said he had a fever and didn't feel well. I picked him up and brought him home. He had a temperature of 101.4 with no other symptoms. I gave him Tylenol and he went to bed for the rest of the day. The evening of April 17 he woke up around 11pm and came into our room. He was very upset. He said he had a dream and he didn't feel right. He was very calm and zoned out but very upset. He laid down in my bed and he just single tears coming from his eyes and a blank look on his face. I was rubbing his head when he asked me to slow down. He told me I was moving really fast. I told him I wasn't and laughed it off. He kept asking what was wrong with him and I assured him he was fine.  He feel asleep in our bed.  The next morning he stayed home again and woke up saying he was feeling like he did last night. I told him to lay down and he would feel better. He did. He went to school the next day no fever.  The weirdness I shrugged off to half asleep and fever. It was just a dream I thought.

Fast forward to April 26. He came home from school and told me that it happened again. That feeling happened again during class. While he was awake and fever free. "What feeling," I asked him. The feeling that everything is moving faster and all the noise are louder. He said that he was finished with his FCAT and all the kids were sitting around waiting for the exam to end. He felt good about the exam results. He said there was a student tapping his pencil and it seemed like the student was tapping his pencil super fast and the sound of it was very loud. Everything was magnified and sound was increased. He had to put his hands over his ears and put his head down to make it stop. And it did.

I called the doctor that afternoon and set an appointment. I thought maybe it was anxiety or panic disorder.  Even though he wasn't in a state of panic or anxiety when it occurred. We set an appointment for Wed.

Tuesday I picked Ethan up and brought him to my office like our everyday routine. He went back to do his homework. A simple crossword puzzle and was in good spirits. He came back into my office around 4pm and said he was happening. His personality had change. His face looked frightened. He laid on my couch and put the pillows over his head. I had my boss come in and look at him and we tried to get him to crack a smile. He wouldn't. I tried to ignore it and let the moment pass and I worked on my computer. After the episode he told me that my fingers typing seemed like it was going super fast and the striking sounds were super loud.

Wednesday, we had our appointment. They physically checked him and everything came back fine except for his eye exam. Suddenly his eye exam from last year went from 20/20 to 20/40. He couldn't see the most simplest lines.  They requested blood work and ordered an EEG.  His pediatrician told me it could be a handful of things. It could be nothing. Just a strange thing that never happens again. It could be a seizure.  They asked me to check his pulse when it happens. That it could be a surge of adrenalin or racing heart. It could be left over symptoms from his virus but we would figure it out or we might never figure it out.  Encouraging, huh? This is the part I don't want to type out. The moment I saw him fail his eye exam I thought about his brother. His half brother that has brain cancer. Whose cancer effect his eye sight. I spoke to the doctor out in the hallway and reminded them of Brycen. I told them when he was first diagnosed that they (Ethan's ped) told me Ethan was fine. It wasn't heredity and even if it was I think it's from his mother side not Matt's. But I couldn't ignore the fact that this is all in his brain and there could be a smallest tiniest chance.

I then took him straight to the hospital and did the blood work. We had lunch and came back to my office around 2:15pm. 3pm Ethan comes into my office and says that it's happening. He sat down on the couch and John check his pulse. 80. Which is normal. We can mark off racing heart.  John walked out and Ethan asked if he could leave the room. He came back 4-5 minutes later and looked upset but said it was over. He said that when John walked in and out of the room the sound of his jeans rubbing together was super loud.  A sound that I didn't even hear.  He said he asked to leave my office because of all sounds in my office. I called the doctor's office and updated them on the latest episode and result of his pulse.

The doctor called me this morning and said again it could be left over from his virus but it could also be nervous system issue.  She said it probably wasn't seizures or his recovery time wouldn't be so quick.  She said that she would have the blood test result back this afternoon and would call me back with the results. We would also schedule an EEG sometime next week.  I also scheduled an eye exam for him for Tuesday. I'm thinking now though that the failed eye test is a result of this issue.

I hope all of this makes sense. My head is telling me everything is alright. It's just a freaky thing and we will laugh and poke fun at it one day. My heart is a little scared.  What's wrong with my baby? What if it's something serious?  What if it's cancer? What if it's a tumor affect his head? What if it's seizures?  What about epilepsy? I think a cousin of ours had that? See I can't stop the negative. I need to know what's wrong with my little boy.

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