It's official with the Monday morning weigh in. I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in 12 years! I remember 200 vividly. We went to the OB/GYN for a checkup while I was pregnant with Ethan. I stepped onto the scale and it went passed 200 and my ex-husband and I just looked at each other. I never was able to reach below 200 again. I was 20 years old. I'm now 32 and today's official weight is 199!!!!
Goodbye to the 83.22 pounds I've lost since August 2011! We are never ever getting back together. (Did I just quote Taylor Swift? Gag me! PLEASE!)
In the 19 weeks since surgery I've lost 67.6 pounds. I don't know the average. I actually think they stray from averages because every one's weight loss is so different. I'm very happy with where I'm at. Sometimes in my head I picture myself to be smaller during these points but that's just because I've got a good imagination. I'm feeling pretty good. While brushing my hair today I noticed what seemed to me lots of hair coming out. My protein is up and I take my vitamins (during the week. I need to take it on the weekends too) so I should haven't much to worry about there. My energy is up. I feel good. I can wrestle and play with my husband more. The clothing thing kinda bums me out. I pulled out a trash bag full of clothes last night that are too big. I hate spending money or wasting money so I dread buying new clothes. I know I have to. I tried to look in the thrift store a couple times but my time was limited and I didn't put the time into it that is required. I don't want to spend a fortune on temporary clothes.
I wonder what size I will end up being? Right now depending on the brand an XL is too big and a Large is perfect. The size 16 jeans I bought from Old Navy are now a tad too big but the 14 BR pants I bought won't button. I still have 30-40 pounds left until I reach my goal of 160-170 and I hope that weight comes from my belly. When I first started this I thought the smallest size I would be was a 14 but now I think it's possible it might be smaller. One things I didn't expect to get so itty bitty are my girls. I bought 5 new bras this past spring in large C and small D sizes and they are all too big. Not just around but cup size big time! I could fit a whole panera bagel in one of my cups. I think I might splurge and buy myself a Victoria Secret pushup bra. I've been to big to shop there in the past and I love that I'm not limited to just one store. I could actually buy a cute small bra that my daughter's head won't fit into. Ugh, I just looked up the cost and I don't want to spend $50 on a stupid bra. lol Why do I have to be so cheap?
One-der Land feels great. I can't believe I'm here. I can't wait to get away from the 200 border line. I wonder sometimes how much running is helping me and where I would be without it. The ladies I know personally with RNY do not exercise regularly and look fantastic and sometimes it passes through my mind that I could do that too. The difference is I promised myself that I wanted to be active not just skinny. I want to ice skate, rock climb, rope course, canoe, everything and anything I want to do with my children and my husband. In order to live that life I need to be in shape. Not psycho fitness queen but I need to build my body up.
Speaking of husband's can I just tell you how amazing he's doing!?! When I'm curled up in bed I can hear him out there working on the elliptical. He thinks twice before he puts anything into his mouth and he's making great choices. I can't wait until he reaches his first goal he's set for himself and gets to reward himself. I'm looking forward to seeing what we will both look like in Vegas in January. I asked him the other day which Bre he prefers Bre 1.0 or Bre 2.0. You know that man wouldn't say 2.0. I know he does. I know he likes seeing me happy. That he liked chasing me yesterday and he told me he like being able to wrap his arms around me now. swoon. I just love this man. I get so nervous sometimes and I feel like this world is going to be pulled out from underneath me. 2 beautiful children. An amazing husband. A partner in life that loves me for me. The good and the bad. A wonderful family and life here that I wouldn't change. Can it be real? Or will someone take it away from me? Will I mess it up? Will I wake up and realize it's all a dream? I remind myself to stop. Don't over think. Enjoy this life you have built.
Today I celebrate in silence that I've hit a big goal for myself. I've thought about it posting it online. It's funny I don't care if people know what I weigh anymore. I'm proud to shout from the top of the Facebook feed I weight 199 pounds! But I don't want to upset the people that are still struggling with their own weight on FB. I don't want to sounds like I'm bragging or showing off. But I am proud of myself and I'm celebrating the hard work I've put in the last 19 weeks. Way to go Bre!!!!
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