Saturday night I had a nice buzz going on. Boot and Bottles Karaoke night here we come. The SEM loaded up with Randy and Crysta in tot and headed over. It was Nick's birthday and he's a karaoke man.
He sang The Thunder roll and the crowd of 11 people cheered on.
The 4 other people in the bar went up and took their turn. No future Voice winners but they did their thing. Nick asked me if I would sing a duet with him. Me? Um no. C'mon, you can do it. Crysta then volunteered to sing with me and I whispered yes. Nick ran up and put our name on the list. I looked at Nate and asked him if I could do it. Whiskey Lullaby was the song of choice. He said, "You could do anything you wanted to. But will it be decent is the right question." Or something like that. I went to a separate table to listen to the next karaoke singer shout her song and I started to cry.
I really really wish I hadn't. I was so scared. I had so much fear in me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't get up there and sing in front of all these people. (11) Nick saw me and went up and removed our name. I walked up to him and told him not to do that. I told him that singing karaoke was on my goal list and I needed to do this. "Great," the DJ said, "Y'all are next!" GULP
"Cassie's passed out in the bathroom."
"Sabrina and Nick you're up!"
Just as they were calling us up our friend passed out in the bathroom and we had to take her home. Saved by the ????
So what about my goal list? I have to face my fear. I have to get this feeling of defeat out of my head. My plan is to practice 1 song and get up there and do it. When? I don't know but I'm not going to let my fear beat me. I've overcome and done so much. I won't let fear win.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Prayers Request
Please pray for Howie this morning. If that's not your thing cross your fingers and toes. We were told yesterday that he has colon cancer. The exact severity to be determined this morning at 11 o'clock. Please pray that his road to recover is the same or similar to Nate's. Howie is the head of this family. We are use to him leading us during time of despair or crisis. Nobody is prepared for this. Prayers please.
Monday, June 24, 2013
First Grayson Family Camping Trip
It was amazing! The moment I got home I missed it. I missed my sisters. I missed their kids. I wanted to go back to the woods. With a working air mattress.
I was so nervous heading up there and the week before I kept thinking how much I wished it was over with already. I told Nate that I needed him to be the positive one. I needed him to talk me out of being upset and to be the ying to my yang. Ends up I didn't need that.
From the moment we got there everything went off great. Debra & Katherine got along great. I loved seeing them laugh together. Katherine is so funny and she really cracks Debra up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) You could tell how much Debra missed her family. She was emotional all weekend. Especially around Dad. I feel bad for not going to visit her more often and plan on making a better effort from now on. It's only 3 hours away.
Watching my sister's with their families was very nice. I've been the mom the longest and playing this roll as a grown up the longest. It was nice to have them all in the same boat as me now. Debra is amazing with her 3 kids and does a great job with them. They are very well behaved and I just adore them. Katherine and David are great parents too. You can tell what a great team they are together with their daughter, cooking, and more. David too find's Katherine very funny and she cracks him up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) And their little girl is so edible! I could eat her up with a spoon!
Christina is Christina. My mini Charlyn. Such a wise and responsible girl. I can't wait to see where her road leads here. Her possibilities are endless.
I have a new found liking for my step mother Lynn. She's been married to my Dad for 5 years now and this is the most time I've ever spent with her. She came walking up in a long moo-moo and red hot flat wheels with feathers on it, manicured toes and nails, and red lipstick. I loved it! It was who she was. She didn't go anywhere without the lipstick. Even at the beach I noticed the tube in her hand. lol My kind of lady. And she was a lady. Just like my step mom Carol. She was well put together and up for almost anything. She's funny and sarcastic. I realized that everything bad I thought about her I was told from other people. I based my opinion on her on other people's bad updates. And I should know better than that. Nobody ever reports the good only the bad. I'm not saying we left as BFF but I do have a new founded respect for her and I liked her. She put a lot of time into planning the trip with my father's best interest at heart. She bought stuff for the Grand kids to keep them busy, planned a menu to meet every body's needs and really just impressed me.
Her daughter Liz...blah. She wasn't friendly at all. Which caused Caroline to not participate a lot. We hardly saw either one of them. Seeing the 2 of them together reminded me of the time when they verbally attacked and bashed me on FB. 7 months pregnant and taunted me about going into labor. Maybe one day when they are mothers they will realize how much my husband wants to punch them all in the face. I forgive easily. He doesn't. It was a bit ironic that for the 3 or 4th time my father forgot to call Ethan on his birthday right before the trip. He called the next day and said he didn't forget that he didn't get home until 9pm and I would have loved to point out the fact that when I didn't call to wish him a Happy's Father's Day by 5pm I was viciously attacked from all his hounds. But I didn't. I'm sure he thought about it. At least I hope he did.
Forgiveness. I spoke to my sister about forgiveness that weekend. Who we forgive and who we don't. I forgive Katherine. I forgive Caroline. I forgive Debra. I forgive Rodney. I forgive my mother. It's harder for me to forgive my father. I'm not sure if he realizes what he did. Not just the physical abuse but the verbal abuse. I have a hard time being lovey dovey to him. Or to bow down to him. The last time I did that was the summer of 1998 and I refuse to go back. I think that kept me distant as some points of the camping trip. Just my own internal struggle with my father. I think I kept it undercover though. I hope. I do admire him. I admire his strength and perseverance. He was served a shitty hand and could have gone down a different path. I'm proud of what he was able to accomplish as a young orphan. So it's a struggle for me.
Overall the camping trip was great. I seriously sat at my desk Wed, Thursday, and Friday and wished we were back there. I can't wait for the next one. When is the next one???
I was so nervous heading up there and the week before I kept thinking how much I wished it was over with already. I told Nate that I needed him to be the positive one. I needed him to talk me out of being upset and to be the ying to my yang. Ends up I didn't need that.
From the moment we got there everything went off great. Debra & Katherine got along great. I loved seeing them laugh together. Katherine is so funny and she really cracks Debra up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) You could tell how much Debra missed her family. She was emotional all weekend. Especially around Dad. I feel bad for not going to visit her more often and plan on making a better effort from now on. It's only 3 hours away.
Watching my sister's with their families was very nice. I've been the mom the longest and playing this roll as a grown up the longest. It was nice to have them all in the same boat as me now. Debra is amazing with her 3 kids and does a great job with them. They are very well behaved and I just adore them. Katherine and David are great parents too. You can tell what a great team they are together with their daughter, cooking, and more. David too find's Katherine very funny and she cracks him up. (And yes I think you're funny too!) And their little girl is so edible! I could eat her up with a spoon!
Christina is Christina. My mini Charlyn. Such a wise and responsible girl. I can't wait to see where her road leads here. Her possibilities are endless.
I have a new found liking for my step mother Lynn. She's been married to my Dad for 5 years now and this is the most time I've ever spent with her. She came walking up in a long moo-moo and red hot flat wheels with feathers on it, manicured toes and nails, and red lipstick. I loved it! It was who she was. She didn't go anywhere without the lipstick. Even at the beach I noticed the tube in her hand. lol My kind of lady. And she was a lady. Just like my step mom Carol. She was well put together and up for almost anything. She's funny and sarcastic. I realized that everything bad I thought about her I was told from other people. I based my opinion on her on other people's bad updates. And I should know better than that. Nobody ever reports the good only the bad. I'm not saying we left as BFF but I do have a new founded respect for her and I liked her. She put a lot of time into planning the trip with my father's best interest at heart. She bought stuff for the Grand kids to keep them busy, planned a menu to meet every body's needs and really just impressed me.
Her daughter Liz...blah. She wasn't friendly at all. Which caused Caroline to not participate a lot. We hardly saw either one of them. Seeing the 2 of them together reminded me of the time when they verbally attacked and bashed me on FB. 7 months pregnant and taunted me about going into labor. Maybe one day when they are mothers they will realize how much my husband wants to punch them all in the face. I forgive easily. He doesn't. It was a bit ironic that for the 3 or 4th time my father forgot to call Ethan on his birthday right before the trip. He called the next day and said he didn't forget that he didn't get home until 9pm and I would have loved to point out the fact that when I didn't call to wish him a Happy's Father's Day by 5pm I was viciously attacked from all his hounds. But I didn't. I'm sure he thought about it. At least I hope he did.
Forgiveness. I spoke to my sister about forgiveness that weekend. Who we forgive and who we don't. I forgive Katherine. I forgive Caroline. I forgive Debra. I forgive Rodney. I forgive my mother. It's harder for me to forgive my father. I'm not sure if he realizes what he did. Not just the physical abuse but the verbal abuse. I have a hard time being lovey dovey to him. Or to bow down to him. The last time I did that was the summer of 1998 and I refuse to go back. I think that kept me distant as some points of the camping trip. Just my own internal struggle with my father. I think I kept it undercover though. I hope. I do admire him. I admire his strength and perseverance. He was served a shitty hand and could have gone down a different path. I'm proud of what he was able to accomplish as a young orphan. So it's a struggle for me.
Overall the camping trip was great. I seriously sat at my desk Wed, Thursday, and Friday and wished we were back there. I can't wait for the next one. When is the next one???
1 year Update
I'm a little behind on my blogging. Life has been going so crazy fast since May I haven't had the time to sit down and put my thoughts down.
June 4 was my one year mark for surgery. This past year has been amazing. More than I ever imagined. I thought I would be a size 14 at my smallest. I thought I would weigh 180 at my smallest. I reached those goals and exceeded them. I'm a size 8 in pants and currently weigh between 148-150 pounds. It all feels surreal. Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up and it will all be back. That this life isn't only temporary. I doubt my ability to sustain it. Ugh stop being negative Sabrina!
First my updated Goal list
1. Weigh less than 200 pounds (5 pounds away!)
1a. Weigh 220 (almost there!)
1b. Weigh less than Nate. My husband is making this hard for me since his weight is going down too.
2. Weigh: 170.
Lose 100 pounds (166.6)
Weigh: 160
3. Take Family pictures (Scheduled for the first of November)
4. Take pictures with Nate, maybe boudoir pictures :) (schedule for the summer)
5. Go to an amusement park with Nate and go on all the roller coasters
6. Go iceskating
7. Shop at the Gap, Learners, and Express (bought my first shirt from Banana republic!)
8. Go to a waterpark and ride all the rides with Ethan Nate, Ethan, and I went to a waterpark yesterday and I rode every ride with them and I didn't get stuck!
9. Wear shorts Done and I'm never going back! It's too damn hot to live in FL and not wear shorts!
10. Dance in a club or bar
11. Run a 5K, (ran my first one and signing up for the 2nd)
BEAT Nate in a 5K
10K
Gate River Run (signed up and ready to go!!!)
Half Marathon by next fall
12. Try "fun" things with my husband ;) things sure have gotten fun :):):) but the 2 I have in my head hasn't happened yet. ;)
13. Go to a costume party
14. Wear a skirt to work Wore a skirt to work last week :)
15. Hold my head up high when I walk into a room almost there. I have my up and down days
16. Go to the beach (please Lord don't let me get eatin' by a shark) Went to Fort Desoto beach this weekend and did not get eaten by a shark!
17. Wear knee high boots (I can't wait to find a pair of riding boots & cowboy boots!)
18. Play a full basketball game against Ethan and his friends.
19. Buy bikes and go on bike rides with the family We need to buy Lorelei a seat. grr
20. Wear one of Nate's t-shirts to bed
21. Go horseback riding
22. Go to one of those underground clubs with Nate (Ultra in Miami)
23. Buy a new bathing suit
24. Wear a cocktail dress
25. Do an obstacle course or high rope course including a zip line
26. Play on a softball team (I'm currently on a softball team but I'm already talking myself out of it. Stick with it Bre!)
27. Buy a sexy bra from Victoria Secrets I'm crossing this off this list because I'm too cheap to buy a bra from VS but I do own 3 bra's now and 1 is red and sexy. Plus Nate bought me some panties from VS so I think that counts.
28. Run the bleachers at FC
29. Wear leggings
30. sing Karaoke
31. Tuck my shirt in
32. Buy an outfit from Black & White Market, J Crew
33. Buy a pair of jeans at a regular store other than Old Navy.
Pretty impressive. I'm so very happy with how the past year has gone.
Reality Check: I need to stay focus. I don't want to lose any more weight but I also don't want to go back to being fat. I feel like lately I've been eating more so I'm setting my timer and going to stick with my schedule. I'm actually okay with gaining 10 pounds back but you get what I'm saying. I don't want to forget that it's very easy to gain all this weight back and I never want to go back there.
Running. I haven't been running because of a lack of a partner. The Green's were nice enough to include me one day which was nice. I enjoyed the run and it felt great. I made a commitment to Chrissy starting today to start running again. I don't want to run 5+ days a week anymore if it doesn't fit in my schedule but I do want to run at least 3 days a week including a long run of 8 miles or more. I can't seem to wake up in the morning so we are going to run right after work. I'm signing up for the Wounded Warrior 8K this fall and the MC half marathon. I thought I was going to sign up for a Marathon but because of all the other stuff we have planned and our future changing I'm not sure I can commit to it.
"You're so skinny" I don't know why I hate hearing this. I guess because I assume that people mean it in a bad way even if they don't. Or if they are heavier than me I don't want them to hate me for it. Or judge me for it. I feel better. I feel more confident but I in know way think that I'm better than my friends or family that are struggling with their weight. I don't want to be an outsider to them. The big girls. Those are my girls. I understand their battle and what's in their heart. I understand not going out places because you are ashamed of yourself. I understand holding yourself back from living the life you want because of the weight. I don't want to be an outsider to them.
The skin- What can I say? It's there. It's not awful but I know it's there. It could be so much worse. So so much worse. So I'm thankful. I do want some cosmetic surgery but that will come when it's the right time financially for my family.
I can't even put into words how amazing this past year has been. I'm a happier person. My family is happier.I look back at those pictures of me and I really had no idea. I didn't know I looked like that. I don't ever want to go back.
June 4 was my one year mark for surgery. This past year has been amazing. More than I ever imagined. I thought I would be a size 14 at my smallest. I thought I would weigh 180 at my smallest. I reached those goals and exceeded them. I'm a size 8 in pants and currently weigh between 148-150 pounds. It all feels surreal. Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up and it will all be back. That this life isn't only temporary. I doubt my ability to sustain it. Ugh stop being negative Sabrina!
First my updated Goal list
4. Take pictures with Nate, maybe boudoir pictures :) (schedule for the summer)
Half Marathon by next fall
18. Play a full basketball game against Ethan and his friends.
19. Buy bikes and go on bike rides with the family We need to buy Lorelei a seat. grr
21. Go horseback riding
22. Go to one of those underground clubs with Nate (Ultra in Miami)
28. Run the bleachers at FC
30. sing Karaoke
32. Buy an outfit from Black & White Market, J Crew
Pretty impressive. I'm so very happy with how the past year has gone.
Reality Check: I need to stay focus. I don't want to lose any more weight but I also don't want to go back to being fat. I feel like lately I've been eating more so I'm setting my timer and going to stick with my schedule. I'm actually okay with gaining 10 pounds back but you get what I'm saying. I don't want to forget that it's very easy to gain all this weight back and I never want to go back there.
Running. I haven't been running because of a lack of a partner. The Green's were nice enough to include me one day which was nice. I enjoyed the run and it felt great. I made a commitment to Chrissy starting today to start running again. I don't want to run 5+ days a week anymore if it doesn't fit in my schedule but I do want to run at least 3 days a week including a long run of 8 miles or more. I can't seem to wake up in the morning so we are going to run right after work. I'm signing up for the Wounded Warrior 8K this fall and the MC half marathon. I thought I was going to sign up for a Marathon but because of all the other stuff we have planned and our future changing I'm not sure I can commit to it.
"You're so skinny" I don't know why I hate hearing this. I guess because I assume that people mean it in a bad way even if they don't. Or if they are heavier than me I don't want them to hate me for it. Or judge me for it. I feel better. I feel more confident but I in know way think that I'm better than my friends or family that are struggling with their weight. I don't want to be an outsider to them. The big girls. Those are my girls. I understand their battle and what's in their heart. I understand not going out places because you are ashamed of yourself. I understand holding yourself back from living the life you want because of the weight. I don't want to be an outsider to them.
The skin- What can I say? It's there. It's not awful but I know it's there. It could be so much worse. So so much worse. So I'm thankful. I do want some cosmetic surgery but that will come when it's the right time financially for my family.
I can't even put into words how amazing this past year has been. I'm a happier person. My family is happier.I look back at those pictures of me and I really had no idea. I didn't know I looked like that. I don't ever want to go back.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Quick update!
Can you believe that I'm less than 1 week away from my surgery anniversary?!? I can't believe it's been 1 year already. Time is flying by.
I've had a very busy 2 weeks. I went to our annual seminar in St. Pete last week. This is the first time I've seen everyone since October. I was around 200 pounds in Ft Lauderdale and in a large and XL pant. I'm now 149 and in a size 8 pant and S/M shirt. The dark hair also threw people off. Every time someone said something to me I would reply, "Oh, it's the hair." ;) Overall it went well. I told one lady who kept asking me and telling me I was her inspiration. I felt like I was misleading her if I didn't tell her about my surgery. A few people didn't recognize me and even the president of one company told me all night at dinner that it was a pleasure to meet me. Um, I've had dinner with him twice before. I felt great. I bought some new dresses at Steinmart and spent a small fortune ($200) but it was worth it. I felt put together. I felt professional. It was a good trip. I'm glad to have that over with and now they all know what Sabrina 2.0 looks like.
A new thing. My husband loves me. He knows I love him but for some reason he is scared to death that I'm going to leave him. And it isn't just because I'm skinny he's always had this fear that our forever would end. And no matter what I tell him he always says, "You better not leave me." Every blue moon. During this business trip we stayed very busy and I didn't get to talk to him as often as I would have. The very last night I spoke to him around 4ish and went to the rest of the seminar, followed by the cocktail hour, followed by dinner, and then drinks with some colleagues. I didnt' get home until 1:30am and I didn't have my phone on me. I put it in my purse at dinner and didnt' pull it back out until I got back into my room. I had missed 3 calls from him and a message saying he wasn't happy with me. I called him when I got into bed and spoke to him and then called him again that next morning. He said he wasn't happy but he was okay and just had a bad feeling. That I was smokin' hot and didn't want someone to take me. He told me he went as far to check my cellphone text messages and noticed that I had messaged 3 out of state numbers and the times of those messages. Of course it's nothing juicy and I told him who they were and why. We didn't argue about it we just talked. I told him that I felt like crying because I felt hurt. That the whole situation felt weird. Like he didn't trust me. I've put 9 years into this relationship and have been honest to a fault with him and never once cheated on him. Then in a weird way it felt good too. It felt good to know he loves me that much and thinks I'm that pretty that someone would snatch me up like that. So we talked it out and everything is okay. I understand where he's coming from. I'm flattered but I also don't want him to think I would every do anything to risk our marriage.
VA: This weekend I also went home to visit my family. I haven't been home in a year and I was excited to see everyone again. Well you know what I mean. Most. lol When asked how the trip was the best I can explain is they are who they are. If I expect any less or more I would be disappointed. I've learned from years of arguing and tears to just accept them for who they are. Especially my parents and I'm okay with that.
My niece was just as expected. Adorable as ever and Lorelei could have eaten her with a spoon. It was nice to see Katherine and David as parents. They are both wonderful with their daughter and you can see the love they have for her runs over. I did get a few "first time parent" giggles from them but every first time parent goes through that. I can't help that I'm an old ass lady with a 12 year old son. I enjoyed seeing Christina. I wish I could have spent more time with her. She's such a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. She reminds me a lot of Charlyn. Christopher wasn't able to make it and him & Charlyn were missed. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Caroline and I wish I could. That girl really pulls and erks me at the same time. I just don't think she knows who she is and the way people treat her really pulls at my heart string. I feel so bad for her that she is dealing with my father all on her own. I hate that she isn't an honest person but she is very much her father's daughter. When I hear him or others judge her it makes me giggle because she is a younger version of him. He isn't honest. He will twist a story to get people upset. But again it is who he is and I just ignore it. With her though it's hard to ignore. I want so much more for her. I want her to like herself and be proud of herself. I want her to be successful. I wish she felt like she could trust one of us to be 100% honest with us. It's strange but I realized this week that she is actually closer to my son's age than she is to mine. Isn't that a bit weird? No wonder why her and Ethan get along more and relate a little bit better. Ethan really likes her and she is a very good aunt to him. Which I of course like and appreciate.
So what did they all think about my weight loss. I think my mom likes it a lot. She kept looking at me and laughing and saying how skinny I was. We laughed at my onesie. We laughed at my little boobs. She seems really happy about my current weight. I noticed her at one time looking at the side by side of me and her that charlyn made and she said, "Oh, I really like this picture." She also showed me the outfits she thought I would look good at and when I showed her my belly she said that it wasn't bad at all so I could wear more. She brougth me some tank tops that we too small for her now so I could wear them during the summer and she said she would take them back when she loses more weight. lol Carol told me she didn't want me to lose anymore weight and that she loved me just as much now as she did when I was heavy. What do you expect it's Carol. Always so sweet. My Dad said, "Oh you have lost a big of weight haven't you." Um yeah I would say so. That's all he said though. Caroline told me how she is working out too and in between sizes just like me too. Christina told me I looked good and was skinny. Katherine didn't say anthing! lol I think she has read my blog too much and was worried that whatever was said would end up on the blog! LMAO I know it's hard for Katherine to bite her tongue so I really appreciated the effort she made. But I do want her to know that it's okay to say stuff. I have a thick skin and I know her thoughts or jokes are coming from a good place. Dave and her did ask a couple questions or maybe it was just was Dave and mom but she was present when I answered them.
Soooo. that's my quick wrap up. It was a great trip. We did a lot in a little time. I hate that. I wish I had more time up there. I need to plan another trip where we spend a week up there and just pretend to be tourist again. In 3 weeks is our first Grayson girl camping trip. I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a great time hanging out with my sisters and Dad. Oh, by the way Lynn was very nice too. That's the most time I've spent with her and she's actually kinda funny.
I've had a very busy 2 weeks. I went to our annual seminar in St. Pete last week. This is the first time I've seen everyone since October. I was around 200 pounds in Ft Lauderdale and in a large and XL pant. I'm now 149 and in a size 8 pant and S/M shirt. The dark hair also threw people off. Every time someone said something to me I would reply, "Oh, it's the hair." ;) Overall it went well. I told one lady who kept asking me and telling me I was her inspiration. I felt like I was misleading her if I didn't tell her about my surgery. A few people didn't recognize me and even the president of one company told me all night at dinner that it was a pleasure to meet me. Um, I've had dinner with him twice before. I felt great. I bought some new dresses at Steinmart and spent a small fortune ($200) but it was worth it. I felt put together. I felt professional. It was a good trip. I'm glad to have that over with and now they all know what Sabrina 2.0 looks like.
A new thing. My husband loves me. He knows I love him but for some reason he is scared to death that I'm going to leave him. And it isn't just because I'm skinny he's always had this fear that our forever would end. And no matter what I tell him he always says, "You better not leave me." Every blue moon. During this business trip we stayed very busy and I didn't get to talk to him as often as I would have. The very last night I spoke to him around 4ish and went to the rest of the seminar, followed by the cocktail hour, followed by dinner, and then drinks with some colleagues. I didnt' get home until 1:30am and I didn't have my phone on me. I put it in my purse at dinner and didnt' pull it back out until I got back into my room. I had missed 3 calls from him and a message saying he wasn't happy with me. I called him when I got into bed and spoke to him and then called him again that next morning. He said he wasn't happy but he was okay and just had a bad feeling. That I was smokin' hot and didn't want someone to take me. He told me he went as far to check my cellphone text messages and noticed that I had messaged 3 out of state numbers and the times of those messages. Of course it's nothing juicy and I told him who they were and why. We didn't argue about it we just talked. I told him that I felt like crying because I felt hurt. That the whole situation felt weird. Like he didn't trust me. I've put 9 years into this relationship and have been honest to a fault with him and never once cheated on him. Then in a weird way it felt good too. It felt good to know he loves me that much and thinks I'm that pretty that someone would snatch me up like that. So we talked it out and everything is okay. I understand where he's coming from. I'm flattered but I also don't want him to think I would every do anything to risk our marriage.
VA: This weekend I also went home to visit my family. I haven't been home in a year and I was excited to see everyone again. Well you know what I mean. Most. lol When asked how the trip was the best I can explain is they are who they are. If I expect any less or more I would be disappointed. I've learned from years of arguing and tears to just accept them for who they are. Especially my parents and I'm okay with that.
My niece was just as expected. Adorable as ever and Lorelei could have eaten her with a spoon. It was nice to see Katherine and David as parents. They are both wonderful with their daughter and you can see the love they have for her runs over. I did get a few "first time parent" giggles from them but every first time parent goes through that. I can't help that I'm an old ass lady with a 12 year old son. I enjoyed seeing Christina. I wish I could have spent more time with her. She's such a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. She reminds me a lot of Charlyn. Christopher wasn't able to make it and him & Charlyn were missed. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Caroline and I wish I could. That girl really pulls and erks me at the same time. I just don't think she knows who she is and the way people treat her really pulls at my heart string. I feel so bad for her that she is dealing with my father all on her own. I hate that she isn't an honest person but she is very much her father's daughter. When I hear him or others judge her it makes me giggle because she is a younger version of him. He isn't honest. He will twist a story to get people upset. But again it is who he is and I just ignore it. With her though it's hard to ignore. I want so much more for her. I want her to like herself and be proud of herself. I want her to be successful. I wish she felt like she could trust one of us to be 100% honest with us. It's strange but I realized this week that she is actually closer to my son's age than she is to mine. Isn't that a bit weird? No wonder why her and Ethan get along more and relate a little bit better. Ethan really likes her and she is a very good aunt to him. Which I of course like and appreciate.
So what did they all think about my weight loss. I think my mom likes it a lot. She kept looking at me and laughing and saying how skinny I was. We laughed at my onesie. We laughed at my little boobs. She seems really happy about my current weight. I noticed her at one time looking at the side by side of me and her that charlyn made and she said, "Oh, I really like this picture." She also showed me the outfits she thought I would look good at and when I showed her my belly she said that it wasn't bad at all so I could wear more. She brougth me some tank tops that we too small for her now so I could wear them during the summer and she said she would take them back when she loses more weight. lol Carol told me she didn't want me to lose anymore weight and that she loved me just as much now as she did when I was heavy. What do you expect it's Carol. Always so sweet. My Dad said, "Oh you have lost a big of weight haven't you." Um yeah I would say so. That's all he said though. Caroline told me how she is working out too and in between sizes just like me too. Christina told me I looked good and was skinny. Katherine didn't say anthing! lol I think she has read my blog too much and was worried that whatever was said would end up on the blog! LMAO I know it's hard for Katherine to bite her tongue so I really appreciated the effort she made. But I do want her to know that it's okay to say stuff. I have a thick skin and I know her thoughts or jokes are coming from a good place. Dave and her did ask a couple questions or maybe it was just was Dave and mom but she was present when I answered them.
Soooo. that's my quick wrap up. It was a great trip. We did a lot in a little time. I hate that. I wish I had more time up there. I need to plan another trip where we spend a week up there and just pretend to be tourist again. In 3 weeks is our first Grayson girl camping trip. I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a great time hanging out with my sisters and Dad. Oh, by the way Lynn was very nice too. That's the most time I've spent with her and she's actually kinda funny.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Zaxby
Yuck!! Just ordered a boneless wing basket. So gross. I wish I has ordered the chicken sandwich. This is my second time being grossed out by their food. Should I give up on it?
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