Structure

I'm kinda a freak. My entire life is tracked and organized on my outlook calendar. I then sync my appointments with my husband. If it's not on the calendar it's not happening. With all of our family events over the summer even Howie and Gordon had me syncing my calendar with theirs. When I go for a doctor's appointment I don't take a card with my future appointment I put it right in my phone. I'm good to go. I can set an appointment for 6 months to a year out because I know what my schedule looks like. I even have hair appointments scheduled through this summer. When I go get my hair done it's not because, "Oh, I just realized my hair needs to be colored" it's because this anal chick scheduled her appointment 6 months beforehand. 


I don't know when I became like this. I think it happened between divorce 1 and marriage 2.  I think smart phones just help create a monster. I can tell you if 16 year old Sabrina knew 32 year old Sabrina she would think she was crazy!  There is some benefits to being so structured and organized but there is also some downsides. One of the major ones is it's overwhelming to others. To Nate and Ethan. To have every day of their lifes mapped out. To have weekend after weekend planned out. I forget to plan day to relax. I want to change that.

I find a sense of peace in structure and an organized event. I can have a good time when I know things are going to flow a certain way.  This all leads me to Vegas. Vegas has been Nate's baby. The purpose of the trip is to attend CES. The Consumer Electronic Show. Nate has always wanted to attend so a few months ago I suggested that we forgo Christmas gifts and go to Vegas instead. He booked the flights, he booked the hotel, he signed us up for tickets to CES. He researched the shows and purchased the tickets to 2 shows. All I've done is buy 5 outfits to wear at night. I've done little to no research on the place. I've talk to a few people but the city is huge and the amount of things to do are unlimited. This causes a bit of anxiety for me. I have a hard time relaxing when I don't know what's going on. My husband is the direct opposite of me. He is able to just fly by the seat of his pants. I envy that at times.

I want to be able to let go during this Vegas trip. Part of my journey as a new Bre is mental too. To let go of the things that hold me back. Being too structure is one of those things. Vegas will be a tough trip for me. I'm flying into a city I've never been too with no real plan.  And I plan on having fun! Oh, wait that sounds like a plan.....