"Momma works"

My fabulous friend and daycare provider came over last night to catch up. We hadn't seen each other since we came back from Vegas and had some family issues to both discuss. We sat on Lorelei's floor while Little Miss played with her baby dolls before bedtime. We started talking about how much Lorelei has been talking and that it seems like just in the 5 days I was gone her speech has developed more. Chrissy was telling me that Lorelei talks about Daddy all day. That her Daddy does this and this and she asked her what about Momma. Lorelei replied, "Momma works".  It broke my heart to hear that. She's right though. Momma gets up earlier than she does and is out the door before she wakes 5 days a week to take Ethan to school.  If I have sessions or meeting with BMC after work then some days I don't see her at all.  On the weekends if I have a session I'm gone for 3-4 hours at a time. Sometimes multiple times a day.  Momma does work and maybe it's too much.  I don't want to miss out on things in her life. This is my last baby. My last chance to enjoy every moment of her life and Ethan's. How do I find that balance of providing for my children and being there for them. At the end of the day I know that the name brand clothes won't matter to them as much as my undivided attention.

I say all the time that I'm going to slow things down, plan less, have less sessions. I increased my prices last year and figured it would slow down. I made almost $12,000 last year in photography. That's a lot of extra work. I obviously didn't keep my word.  I'm making the statement again. I can't do anything about the sessions I currently have planned but I'm doubling my prices in the hopes that I will do 50% less session. 

I'm also going to switch weeks with Nate on dropping Ethan off. I want to be able to say good morning to my little girl. 2012 was really a year for me. It was a year I was making goals for myself and being selfish for the first time in 11 years. That time has come and gone though. I need to find a balance of time for me, time for us (Nate & I), and a time for we (my family).  Everything else just doesn't really matter.