Eat a freaking hamburger!

I get it! You can see my collar bones. Do you think I can't?  I lost weight not my eye sight! I always knew that I would lose too much weight during this surgery. Typically people lose too much and then gain another 10-15 pounds back. I reached my goal weight a few weeks back of 160 pounds and I'm trying to maintain in. I'm trying to increase my food intake and eat higher in calorie foods. I'm trying. This morning I weighed in at 150.8. I'm not trying to lose weight anymore. I wish I could lose my stomach gut. Gosh do I hate it. But losing weight won't change my belly. Only surgery will.

I'm not sure how I feel about people pointing out my flaws. My mother called me just to point out my collar bones. I guess it comes with the territory. Or how I feel when my friends tell me I need to eat. I do eat. I ate freaking taco bell this weekend.

I guess when it comes to my family they will just have to wait and see. I'm sure they will all be watching me when I come to visit. How much is she eating. How little is she eating. What did she eat?  The Brigance's do it and I'm okay with it and they are use to it now. They know they won't see me at the dessert table and my portions are smaller but they also know that I am eating.

So am I annoyed by it? No, not really. I think people have the best of intentions. I think people get worried when they know so little of my daily habits.

Am I happy with myself right now??? Yes and no. I think I look too thin sometimes like my upper half. I think my stomach still looks fat. And I wish my hair was back to normal. This month will be 11 months out and I wouldn't change a single moment of it though. The life I'm living now is one that I wish I could have been 10 years ago.

Oh, and for the record during my conversation with my mother last night I found out that she has bigger boobs than me now. Wow.