How much will I change?

A good friend of mine told me that when she had her surgery that not only did her physical appearance change but her attitude changed.  I'm starting to wonder how much of me will actually change. I can see the physical changes but the internal changes. I've spent the lady 8 years digging myself deeper into a hole. Wearing basic clothes, not getting my nails done, doing everything I can to blend in.  If someone was looking at me it was because I was fat.  They were judging me.  She said she built up this wall and she was defensive and mean but now that she is healthy and she like the person she has become. 

I've worked very hard to be a better person over the past 10 years.  I've learned and accepted that I can't fight every battle. I can't change the way people act or the way people feel.  When my confidence is sky rocketing months from now I don't want that old Sabrina to come back thinking that she is entitled to change people.  Judgement. In general I don't judge people.  Yes, I have opinions on EVERYONE. However their choices are their choices.  I'm okay with being surrounded by people that are different than me or think differently than me. As long as their is mutual respect. When I lose this extra 50 pounds I wonder if I will start judging people that are over weight. The way I feel like skinny girls do to me now. I don't want to be that person.  I don't want to look at an overweight person I feel like I'm above them.  I was them. If it wasn't for this amazing gift I would still be that girl.  I hope that humbling feeling stays inside me.

I guess what I really don't want to become is a bitch. I'm not better than anyone. I'm not above anyone.  I hope that when I'm at my final goal weight the inside is just a beautiful as the outside.

A couple recent pictures. I'm going to post a before and after side by side next week. Promise! I'm kinda obsessed with taking pictures of myself now with my cellphone. I can't say it enough, "It feels great to feel great!!!"