I love living in a fantasy world

If I typed the events of the last month it would make it real. So I choose not to and continue to look at pretty pictures of nurseries and just pretend. So my period never came in Jan. I was on pins and needle and sick to my stomach. Everytime I went into the bathroom I held my breathe. And it never happened. I had to be pregnant...right? 3 EPT test said NO and then a blood test from my doctor confirmed I was not pregnant but where was Aunt Flo? He gave me a prescription of Provera and you take it for 10 days and the ragging bitch will show herself. Then 12 days after the start of my . I need to take an ovulation test to see if I am ovulating and then check my blood work for my progrestrone level next Friday. In the meantime Nate had to go to the spank bank. We had a lot of fun with that and so did he. We got the results last Tuesday. He has 99% misshapened sperm. Which is a cause of infertility. He has to go back in 6 weeks and be tested again. If the sperm are not shaped correctly then they can't get to the egg and can't get break into it. Hopefully the next test will go fine and this won't be an issue.

Those are the facts. Now my feelings on it..I am heartbroken of course. How do you plan for a future if there won't be one. I know I should be hopeful but how do you talk about your future children if you can't make them. At first I was alittle mad at Nate. Yes I know it isn't his fault but I was. I am just going to hope and pray that everything goes alright. If not. I have the most wonderful son that I could ever ask for. Maybe it is selfish to want another.

Fun Bio Update

Living Large on a Dime

Also check out G&D Delicious Broiled Shrip Recipe...look great. I am going to give it a shot!

Also check out her nest Bio

Yummy yummy get in my tummy

I get into slumps sometimes. I need some inspiration so I went hunting for food blogs. What catches my eyes? Great pictures!! I don't even read the recipes..i need visual stimulation in order to get any further. Look at this yummy recipe for garlic knots from Casual Concoctions

Christmas Cookies!!!! We are cooking for Santa on the 23rd. Baking Christmas cookies remind me of cooking with my Stepmom. Courtesey of The Pioneer Woman

A girl with filipino recipes! She has to get a shout out! It reminds me of my mom and lola's cooking. Like I said I am all about visual stimulation..check out Together Better. Y-u-m-m-y

It all looks so good. I love that chili casserole thing above..it looks so warm and comforting. I am still on the hunt for a good desert to make for Christmas dinner. I am going to do 2 apple pies and 1 of somethign else...any thoughts?

just something a little special

Kids are so simple to please. I bought an advent calendar for Ethan this year. It is an adorable thing that would only fit snickers bars behind each door. Day 9 and he is getting bored. So when I saw Just a Girls post last night I knew I had to throw this in. What a great idea! Ethan will love it and so will I.

Isn't she pretty! :) I put her on a lazy susan so she could spin around in all her glory!

Here our our list of activites.

9.) Cut out paper snowflake

10.) Breakfast for dinner

11.) Color a special picture for someone

12.) Make popcorn & watch a Christmas movie

13.) Go see Santa Clause

14.) Find a special treat

15.) Hot cocoa & marshmellow

16.) Play board game or uno

17.) Make a card for someone & mail it

18.) Make a Christmas craft

19.) make a pinecone bird feeder

20.) Decorate a gingerbread house

21.) Go look for Christmas lights

22.) Ethan make dinner for Momma & Dad

23.) Bake Christmas Cookies.

Please leave me alone Aunt Flo

Please Please please do not stop by for a visit. I am begging you. I know we haven't been trying long..this would only be strike 3 but I don't want to see you. I actually don't want to see you for another 10 months. I have only asked this of you 1 other time. I don't think that is an unreasonable request. I took a pregnancy test on Friday even though I know my answer will arrive on December 10th and it said negative. I cried. I felt heartbroken. We want a baby. We have waited a long time to make the choice together. Please don't come. Please visit someone else.

The awful thing is...I think i feel you. As much as I want to feel pregnant, I think I felt a few jabs from you this morning. You are coming aren't you?

MMMM..Food

Do you ever get tired of eating the same thing over and over? I do! I think my challenge this week is to find some great food blogs. Start collecting ideas. I told my hubby today since my pies went over great at Thanksgiving I am going to double the apple pie and maybe a blueberry cobbler or cheesecake..mmmm

Here is one that I found off thenest. Abby's Kitchen

Oh, and I want to check this blog out more too. A Day In the Life of Karen

Inspirations

Living Rooms

Kitchens

Dining Room

Bathrooms

Bedroom

Office

Decor

Nursery

Outdoors