Cover up!

Added blinds to the bedroom. They were $20 off at Lowes this week. $27 x 6 plus free shipping. I love the texture it's going to add to each finished room. 

Marshalls Love

A family of 4?

This morning while getting ready for work Debra mentioned me having another baby and Nate replied, "No, she's having a tummy tuck. We won't have anymore children."  I guess I had forgotten that.  This surgery makes it final. That I wouldn't go through this just to gain weight again and stretch out my stomach. I asked Nate if he was okay with that and he said yes. Then he said I don't know and then he said yes. We both have had the urge to have another child at one point or another. Especially when I see how quickly my daughter is growing up. Or that the car I just paid off today will be Ethan's in 3 years. But then the majority of the time I feel like our family is complete. The 4 of us. We are able to provide a good life for our children and ourselves and why push that.  We were also blessed with 2 healthy children so why risk that? Then sometimes I think about the baby that could have been but wasn't. He or she would be running around with Lorelei right now. The best of buddies. I wonder if Nate wonders about that too. If he's urge to have another child is stronger than he's letting on. And again I start to wonder if I'm being selfish. He can't have another child without me and if my choice is no and his is I don't know then should I wait until he is on the exact same page as me?  Will he resent me for going through with this and not having another child.  I know that I need to sit down with him and talk about it. I don't want to move forward until I know that my husband sees our future as I do.

Went to the doc...now what?

Last week I was finally able to meet with the plastic surgeon and have my consult. I had planned on meeting with 2 different doctors. One recommended by my bariatrics group and that I had watched a seminar from and then one recommended by a girl with big boobs at a bar! The first plastic surgeon Dr. C put me through the runaround and made me come to the appointment, pay $2.00 for parking and then was able to see me. I wasn't impressed. Dr. D. was the next doctor. He came to one of our monthly bariatric meetings and was recommended by our lead, Jodi. After waiting an hour my blood was boiling. I'm so impatient. When it was finally my turn the staff was very friendly and apologetic for my long wait. Dr D. was very nice and asked me questions about my desired size and overall appearance. I explained to him that neither one of us know the exactly what we wanted except for my stomach to be flat and my boobs to be up and womanly. We discussed the difference between silicone and saline. I decided to go with silicone. And then it came to the size. My instructions were womanly, professional, but not porn star professional. We looked at a few images online and then I got undressed.

First the tummy tuck. Easy peasy. I would have a scare similar to my c-section but from hip bone to hip bone. I would pull on the skin down but leave a little soft spot about 5 inches from my belly button. That skin is stretched but can only be fixed with a vertical scar but he said he thought that was too much of a scar for the minor area. Then it was onto the fun part. Boobs.

I don't need a lift with is excellent. That less surgery and less money out of my pocket. The sizing was next. I put on a cross your heart on bra and he gave me the first pair of fake boobs to try on. From the pictures Nate and I flipped through we thought around 350cc would be perfect. So in goes the 350cc and I put my sweater back on. They looked exactly the same as the bra I've been wearing the for past year that's empty (My boobs don't fill it at all!). Boo! Nate and I both say no. He hands me 450cc pair next. I slide those bad boys in and take a look. Errr. better but not it. Nate confirms. He hands me the next pair 550cc and explains to me that I'm 5'9" with a medium frame I can handle a higher CC. I take a step back and look in the mirror. Not exactly Laura Croft but perfect! Nate also gave it 2 thumbs up. The doctor asked if he could use his discretion during surgery to see how my skin fills the 550cc and aim between 500-550cc. Nate and I told him yes. 500-550cc would equate to a small D. He said big enough but not to big to bother me when running or excersising.  Here are some examples. First 2 girls are 5'9"

Now this girl is 5'5" and has 550cc. See the difference? Way to big in my opinion.

The next step was the pricing lady. She came in with her type up proposal and it was much less than Nate and I were thinking. Still an investment but not the price of a new car. I left feeling very excited. I could have it done as early as February! I could be on the road to feeling skinny and better about myself.

Let me just take a moment to say that I know that I'm skinny. I know that I'm no longer fat. I know that I'm a size 8 and shit even fit into a size 4 the other day at Express. But as long as my stomach looks like this I won't feel as good as I could.

Okay back to boobs and tummy. When am I going to do it? I'm thinking May 28th. It works out with Lorelei's schedule and I could take 2 weeks off to recoup. The only problem I'm having is the money. Do I really want to spend $10,000 on myself? Can I justify doing something so selfish? Is it selfish? Would it put us in a financial bind? Am I making the right choice? That is what I'm struggling with now. Am I making the right financial choice for me and my family? I'll let you know what I decide.

No longer feel fat

Today is my first consultation with a plastic surgeron. I'm looking into having a tummy tuck and boob job. Until I get rid of this belly fat I will always feel fat. I'm ready to stop feeling fat.

I will let you know how it goes!

I'm not brave enough to show my before but this is a close before & after I found online. 

List of all list

As you all know we are officially homeowners again! Our first home purchase together and we could be any happy.  You know what that means for me...design time! You know my head and Pinterest is blowing up! The blank walls are screaming at me to get started but I want I to go slowly and do it right.  To help the process I figured I would make a list of all list to help me focus and on track.

Here we go! Enjoy the links to my pinterest board!!!

The Front Yard (0% completed)

• Lights on side of the garage
• Fix stucco issue from inspection
• Repaint House (cost and stucco determined)
• Aerate and seed the yard
• repaint the front door
• DIY door mat
• clear out pushes in bed
• Mulch beds and plant flowers
• Upgrade porch light
• Replace mail box
• Replace sprinkler system throughout yard
• Build Jasmine trellis around trash cans (side yard)

The Backyard (0% Completed)

• Add rain gutters
• level backyard
• clear trees and underbrush
• expand backyard to neighbors fence line
• Install iron fence
• purchase a shed for yard equipment
• expand patio
• fire pit
• new patio chairs and stain table
• build dock including kayak railings

Garage (85% Completed)

• Add shelving
• Build tool bench with peg board
• Create a fishing corner

Living Room (0% Completed)

• Paint a greige color
• Room inspiration
• Corner gallery wall to right of TV like seen here
• Add curtains
• Install Nest thermostat

Dining Room (0% Completed)

• Paint accent wall
• Purchase 2 wing chairs for end of table
• curtain
• Paint room
• DIY art
• Coffer ceiling like seen here
• Upgrade lighting (possibly spray paint chandelier and use in Master bathroom)

Office (0% Completed)

• Curtains
• Wooden accent wall
• Paint desk and add trim
• Add storage to desk
• Paint shelf. White outside pop of color in the inside like this
• Hang wire for hat and props like this or the one from ikea

Laundry room (0% Completed)



• Add cabinets/shelving
• Paint
• Add Art
• Change floors to match kitchen
• Eventually new appliance

Kitchen (15 % Completed)

• New stove/microwave/dishwasher
• Purchase new fridge
• Install deep sink/faucet
• Install hardware
• 2 bar stools
• Add light in pantry
• Install back splash here
• Change flooring (wood or tile)
• Install granite counter tops
• Add bench or here to eat in kitchen nook
• Curtain
• Paint kitchen chairs
• Add art (from a brewery)

Master Bedroom (0% Completed)

• Paint
• Curtains
• Blinds
• Recover old chair
• New lamps
• Art work
• New bedding
•  

Master Bathroom (0% Completed)

 



• Tile
• Tile shower & expand
• Mount TV
• Purchase hardware
• Change faucets
• Upgrade lighting
• Change mirror
• Fill closets with shelving

Hallway (0% Completed)

• Add board and batter wall
• Change lights
• Add artwork

Closet

• Install shelving

Lorelei's Room (0% Completed)

• Paint
• Install closet shelving Like This
• Add a reading nook
• Paint dresser ombre and small table
• New bedding
• Add blinds

Lorelei's  & Ethan's Bathroom (0% Completed)

• Paint cabinets (?)
• Upgrade lighting
• Upgrade faucet
• Change mirror
• Tile bathtub

Guest Room (0% Completed)

• Make headboard
• Purchase Double Mattress
• Paint tall dresser
• Upgrade light
• Paint
• Purchase blinds
• Curtains, art
• Install closet shelving

Ethan's Room (0% Completed)

• Install board and batten wall
• Paint Inspiration
• Purchase blinds
• Upgrade lights or install fan
• Install closet shelving
• Paint dresser and shelfs

Updated Goal List

1. Weigh less than 200 pounds (5 pounds away!)
1a. Weigh 220 (almost there!)
1b. Weigh less than Nate. My husband is making this hard for me since his weight is going down too.
2. Weigh: 170.
Lose 100 pounds (166.6)
Weigh: 160
3. Take Family pictures (Scheduled for the first of November)
4. Take pictures with Nate, maybe boudoir pictures :)
5. Go to an amusement park with Nate and go on all the roller coasters
6. Go iceskating
7. Shop at the Gap, Learners, and Express (bought my first shirt from Banana republic!)
8. Go to a waterpark and ride all the rides with Ethan Nate, Ethan, and I went to a waterpark yesterday and I rode every ride with them and I didn't get stuck!
9. Wear shorts Done and I'm never going back! It's too damn hot to live in FL and not wear shorts!
10. Dance in a club or bar
11. Run a 5K, (ran my first one and signing up for the 2nd)
BEAT Nate in a 5K
10K
River RunHalf Marathonl
12. Try "fun" things with my husband ;) things sure have gotten fun :):):) but the 2 I have in my head hasn't happened yet. ;)
13. Go to a costume party
14. Wear a skirt to work Wore a skirt to work last week :)
15. Hold my head up high when I walk into a room almost there. I have my up and down days
16. Go to the beach (please Lord don't let me get eatin' by a shark) Went to Fort Desoto beach this weekend and did not get eaten by a shark!
17. Wear knee high boots (I can't wait to find a pair of riding boots & cowboy boots!)
18. Play a full basketball game against Ethan and his friends.
19. Buy bikes and go on bike rides with the family We need to buy Lorelei a seat. grr
20. Wear one of Nate's t-shirts to bed
21. Go horseback riding
22. Go to one of those underground clubs with Nate (Ulta in Miami)
23. Buy a new bathing suit
24. Wear a cocktail dress
25. Do an obstacle course or high rope course including a zip line
26. Play on a softball team (I'm currently on a softball team but I'm already talking myself out of it. Stick with it Bre!)
27. Buy a sexy bra from Victoria Secrets
28. Run the bleachers at FC
29. Wear leggings
30. sing Karaoke
31. Tuck my shirt in
32. Buy an outfit from Black & White Market, J Crew
33. Paddle Boarding
34. Cartwheel
35. Hula hoop